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arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-29, 05:46

Aasudi wrote:Nice update...beautiful write up...i m excited to know the journey from that chana-takraar to why she is so swt to hm n alongside waiting hm to wake up soon by her side,by his family's side, by our side...the unknown caller was it shyam? The conspirator? I can only think of him for sth so deadly harmful...so animalistic...
Anjali going mgmt classes n helping in business is very good...these arnav khushi moments of husband n wife,always wanted to see in the show but...
But, its equal great to read them through ur words, thanks for updating dear...
sush,

thanks for liking the chapter. yeah anjali needs to get back... and not rush to do pooja. after a betrayal like that, hopefully she will be cured of her obsessive praying... even nani couldn't take it. and there were glimpses of a smart, with it woman in her... maybe i will find that... haye, my little heart and its silly hopes. :)

thanks for saying you like the mr and his missus in their little crazy moments.

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-11-29, 05:49

indi52 wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:
indi52 wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:Indi the top edit on chapter 6 , is it from the episode when Arnav brings a gift for Lavanya and finds khushi in the kitchen? What a powerful episode... The rage as well as hurt in his eyes... Awesome...
hi sabi,

you had to do it, right? :) :lol!: i fell in love with this picture of his yesterday when rashmi  was getting ready to post it... and voila it's now your profile shot. how uff aa paarchhi na handsome and hot is he here. and so damn innocent.

i read all the nice things you say about my writing, i am giggly and grateful.

take care.

will post 7 later today. at last some time and energy.
Indi , i was down about something and meenakshi ( Shegarf) had sent that to me last week to cheer me up... I have had that as my DP for a week now... Everyone asks me where it came from ... And I have NO idea.... Sigh .... He can cheer me up anytime...

I was downloading your episodes analysis for my trip and wala... I find you here! long hug 
aww poor baby,

it's from a baat promo... here...

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credit OU on YT

and that picture... no it's from a very early episode... in the car park, when her diya has set the sprinkler off and he storms down all wet, she stands there eating ber... remember?

people keep talking about teh writing of ipk, to me really it was al in the acting, character portrayal and the simmering thing between the two.

can't think of any other actor doing what he did with asr. actually even she was damn good and hot as kkg, till they achhi bahu-ed the choti and mojri out of her.

analysis. hyuk, nice name for my rambling. getting harder, now that we are entering the jungle period where the wicked witch has made sure teh bread crumb trail is lost and we are nver going to find our way back

after being pushed around and plotting a lot you pull off a spectacular wedding. who the h then takes that to a remarriage after that? shouldn't your whole energy be concentrated on showing how this was the real deal? this nafrat shadi with mohabbat in the winds in the chimes in the darkness in the firelight?

ai ai yo.

have fun.
Indi...bounce bounce ... in the barren land of silly and OTT serials ... i have accepted every scene of IPK ( Arnav Khushi ones) as Gold... I am spared from analysis ( that's your job and i just follow your lead) but deep inside I have no resentment left... i happily skip the weird part and move on to the gold! I tried many shows... QH, Pakhi, IPK 2... nothing compares to IPK...sigh

BTW, wanted to say Happy Hanukaah to you... we have a Menorah but we didnt light it this year cause we are leaving soon... every year our friends took Shai to synagogue for Dreidel games and latka parties. We miss our old home :cry: 

Thanks for the origin of that photo... Kiss

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-11-29, 06:08

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Indi... I had a mini heart attack when he walked through the temple entrance ( in the promo) ... I died for a few seconds and saw him ( with that halo light in that promo surrounding him) walking through the pearly gate! ... Sigh ... My daughter brought me back to earth...Bang 

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-29, 08:51

sabi,

that shot is just plain criminal. it is out to kill no doubt about it. our daughters have to save us... what to do.

so fresh so innocent and yet just thrilling and sexy.

going back a post... yes it is gold. sometimes the mine is kind and you get lots in the ore... sometimes not so. 200 onward, ore had higher impurities... but the gold you got... always 24 carat.

i didn't try anything else, not really. didn't need to. did vaguely glance at ebp once and quickly scurried away. particularly disastrous, especially since asr is the template being tried and miserable failed at. poor avinash... just not his role this.

and can there ever be another asr?

am watching pakhi on the net... usually skipping forward., iqbal khan is not bad... but neither shraddha arya nor the role do anything for me. writing weak... characterisation not really there. just a rush to tell a story.

i may crib i may screech, but i will need suddenly in the middle of the day a need to see asr do something.

undeniable. unanalysable.

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Peeves on 2013-11-29, 09:12

Nice story, I want to read further.

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shegarf71 on 2013-11-29, 10:13

Dearest Indi,
How I was torn with not being able to read since chapter three and here I arrive having read them altogether..IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!If you don't know already,you must be told..there's a soul of realism and an anticipation of the events following the reading of each chapter!!How I see the tiniest little nuances that you always felt wre part of ASR and KKG but we never got to see them..and here they are...

The chana
The rage correctly verbalized
The harshness of his actions
The buildup of emotion
Her quiet observations of him..once ASR had said to her.".I didn't know..KE tum mujhe itna kareeb se observe karti ho!" But then he did too!And it was always this deep silent understanding of each other's eyes and what they said to each other that was the power and enigma of their love!They were simply just built to be there for each other..lone way or the other..Arnav aur Khushi humesha saath rahenge...

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Peeves on 2013-11-29, 10:23

It was long time since I cried reading something. Chapter 5 and 6 made me cry. You are a wonderful writer. Waiting to read more.

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-29, 23:32

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my friend farha (omoraboti) made this beautiful edit above and the one at the bottom of page. dear readers, thanks to all who come and read and leave a like or a comment. i hope this slowish stroll through asr khushi's intense and crazy love affair with its past present future all unfolding together is interesting and worth coming back to. have fun, take care, enjoy the read. and please do excuse my not so correct hindi.


chapter 7




whenever i hear old chronicles of love, its age old pain,
its ancient tale of being apart or together
as i stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge
clad in the light of a pole star, piercing the darkness of time.
~~~ rabindranath tagore, unending love ~~~





"do you know, arnav, there are so many things i want to tell you.

all the things i can't tell a soul, not even myself at times? i feel if i say those words i won't be able to get up, won't be able to carry on...

i can't say these things, i must believe, yeh zindagi humari hai, acchhi hai, hume yahan jeena hai. 
yet why is it that my heart wants to tell you everything? everything? really all of it? the fears that refuse to leave me. that old sadness i don't look at. and tears, all the tears... it's strange how much of tears a little girl can have, even after all seems to have flowed.
why arnav, why did it all happen? why me?
i know this is a silly question. i have asked devi maiyya many times and she looks at me with the kindest eyes. i try to find all my answers in that, i try to forget everything... just hold her close and forget it all... and my stars... my vishwaas, there they are humari amma aur babuji... i suppose some things can never be explained and if devi maiyya thought this was what had to be... i'll just accept it.
yet arnav, there are days like this... when i just can't... i try so hard... that everyone should be okay... no one should be harmed... 
i want to scream when i think of a speeding car... my heart pounds thick and fast...raftaar... a rush of lights and sound in the dark... no... stop it... someone stop it please... babu ji... amma...

oh, arnav ji,

did it have to be another accident?

did i have to see you being hit by a bus on the road?

why, arnav ji, what have i done that i have to see this?

can you hear me? where are you? do you hear? why me? is it... is it... me?"

"shh. sh... sh. khushi? khushi?

i can hear you always... hamesha. always. remember? 


i hear everything you say, even those you sometimes don't. i hear your rhythm, your cadence, your breath, the hush of your lashes falling across your cheek, the stir of your touch, the hope in your smile. i hear you in my heartbeat.

and i hear the tears drenching your heart. the ones you hide so you can live. the ones you use to make others happy. the ones with which you feel me through all my harsh words and anger.

you don't have to tell me. i know. don't you know me, my little paagal?

... i am here, just here... 

we are never away from each other, are we?

and no, khushi, it isn't you. sometimes some things happen... no reason... they just do...

khushi, i love you."

why does a sudden wind rustle the waters on a still night? why does a name feel like life itself? why are some things impossible to understand or explain yet they are there, they did happen? why do we search so much to find so little? and why does so much find its way to us, just like that? what is this thing we call love, mohabbat, pyaar, ah love? is it real? is there any proof of it? how do we see it, touch it, feel it? where does it live? how long does it live? is it real? is there anything real except love? rabba ve... rabba ve.

***

anjali sat with a dazed look on the faux leather upholstered waiting area chair. why were hospital decors so cold and matter of fact, when nothing that went on in hospitals were of that nature? desperation, love, hurt, fear all around, sometimes a tiny ray of hope. but to look at the metal and plastic furnishings, the cool flat walls, you'd never know there were any feelings around here. no feelings.

coming up in the lift today, the lift man had been so rude and aggressive. and he scratched himself, blithely unaware of the crush of people waiting to somehow get out of the stuffy elevator and reach their patient. maybe  a father, a mother, sister, friend, who knows. he didn't care like these walls and chairs, sickness and death had become mere business, the day's routine they were, and he was just tired of these people who thought nothing mattered more than their patient.

anjali checked her thoughts. she was wandering off. running away from that voice on the phone,
"khushi ji, do you really think arnav had an accident that afternoon?"

she started to feel sick, physically; a bowl, a something, did someone have...?

payal could see the colour drain from di's face, she rushed over across the aisle, "di? di? are you ok?"

anjali's hand was trembling and cold as she held payal's. akash had gone to collect some medicines at the pharmacy, payal wished he'd come soon as she stroked anjali's hair. what was the best course of action she wondered. di was fragile, and the past weeks had been hard on her. just when she was beginning to feel a little calmer about things. she'd started taking active interest in ar, and joined the post grtaduate executive programme at the faculty of management at delhi university. she was doing everything she could to give shape to her life once more. once built around only her love for her husband and all the hopes and dreams of their marriage. that's all.

after meeting shyam, anjali had let her other bits submerge, settle right at the bottom. she had so much, why should she want more? she had someone who loved her despite her shortcomings. her limp, the day to day demands of a physical handicap, and that terrible broken wedding. no, she would take care of this man, he was the centre of her existence. a sharp, intelligent girl decided her personal ambitions, her flair for business and such things were really not important. what mattered was shyam. her every fear of loss was crystalised in that emotion as she turned almost full time to prayer and religious observance seeking the blessings of the almighty in preserving this happiness.

payal had sensed the potential strength of this woman the day shyam's truth came out. a steel she had associated always with arnav ji, came into his elder sister's eyes. then she ripped out her mangalsutra. in one stroke, just like that. payal had gasped audibly; wasn't this the woman they'd all felt, especially khushi, was too weak to handle the truth about shyam? that very mangalsutra had almost come undone and how she'd panicked, as a result of which khushi had kept mum about the deceiver... and all that happened afterwards had happened. payal sighed.

she remembered how minutes after hearing shyam was not only after money and nothing else, but had himself killed their child, anjali gathered herself and struck back.

whoever called must have said something terrible, payal thought, oh no, was everything ok? she held anjali firmly and said, "di, just hold on, i'll get akash to get some water
..."

even as she spoke, anjali crumpled, her face was buried in her knees, she seemed to be losing consciousness.

dr verma had just walked into the ward for a regular round. he saw the two women at the end of the aisle and walked over quickly. he could see miss raizada was in no state to even sit up. as he reached for her pulse and asked the nurse to get some water, he said, "miss raizada, don't worry, now let's see what's the matter with you..."

anjali felt warm fingers settle on her wrist, an air of calm in them. she sat up slowly, looked him in the eyes, her eyes beginning to fill up, "dr verma, my husband is out to kill my brother. that was no accident."

vijay verma looked back into eyes growing desperate, and he remembered another pair just as dark and intense. intense with belief. nancy, why did you believe so much?

he didn't know why he said what he said next, "trust me miss raizada, we won't let him."

miss raizada had a husband, so he was right, he could sense there was a man in her life.

payal was shocked at what di had just said. "who called, di? shyam ji?"

"no, payal ji, it was a woman... but i know on whose behalf she called... it was no accident, payal ji... no accident," her lips quivered and at last it became impossible not to cry. her little brother, her chhotey, her papad ka tukda jab dekho ukhda, the one who trailed after her as she hobbled along, never pushing her or trying to overtake, always over protective of her, fighting with anyone who dared to call her names, who had always taken care of her, someone wanted to hurt him. no no no. no. never.

payal sat down, what would they do now, this strange terrifying knowledge. where was akash? why was he taking so long? what should they do? what would they tell khushi?

khushi? payal's breath almost stopped. how would they tell khushi? should they tell her? wasn't it better to just let it be? khushi wouldn't be able to take it... not this... her thoughts raced.

the door of asr's cubicle opened, and khushi came out smiling. he was breathing, he was warm, somehow she never felt bad when she was around him. that night she'd stayed up when they thought they hated each other, even that night she'd been happy because he was there. even when he'd been khadoos and rude she'd wanted to take care of him, hold him. ajeeb.

that's what. ajeeb they were. again she smiled.

but when her eyes fell on the three people huddled together, somehow she knew she would have to face the next thing. the time had come.

***

why was she everywhere? he thought. that girl...

it had not been easy. his first time back in lucknow after that day with chachaji, he and di being thrown out of their home. maa gone.
a deep breath. the thoughts disturbed him. it had not been easy.

how was he ever going to feel alright in these corridors, these rooms, this whole place? sheesh mahal. no you are not mine, you never were. you belong to the darkness. to the abyss of no return... your walls wrap around my mother's scream and a gunshot.

no... two gunshots.

whose hand was on the trigger?

he was suffocating.

another long deep inhale and a controlled exhale.

he had done what he'd said he would, promised in fact. chacha ji and his careless, ceaseless spending on the "good" life had necessitated first turning the usurped sprawling mansion sitting amid 40 acres of land with manicured gardens and orchards into a hotel. soon enough, that too wasn't enough, finally sheesh mahal had to be mortgaged. that was just the chance asr had been waiting for.

now this sprawling mansion was his.

his eyes grew dark and opaque, cacao 90 %. there was not a trace of joy at the thought. just a chilling sense of winning. power. power that only money gives you.

and money doesn't come easy.

sounds he didn't want to hear were echoing in him. too many memories. why were they all so difficult?

an image of a pair of trembling full lips cut in out of nowhere. that girl. who was she? why was she on his mind? he really didn't give a damn for such girls. a ridiculous waif like creature with really strange clothes... were those pompoms hanging from her sleeves and plat? he grimaced. she was falling back about to hit the ground, he felt a strong desire to reach out and catch her. stop the fall. he had to get away.

he had to get away. he reached for his phone. "aman? please ask captain raina to get ready, i am flying back now... yes aman, don't interrupt. you and akash come back tomorrow with di, i'll send the plane back. oh, and tell dan i need an appointment this friday afternoon."

he ended the call, thought for a moment, then a half smile... almost. he dialled again.

"yes, it's me, darling," the smile was there definitely, "i'll see you in..." he checked his watch, a beautiful iwc in white gold, "say, three and a half hours?"

the response to this announcement amused him, it seemed.

"yes, i'm coming back now... not a problem, i hope?"

a full smile at last...

"i thought not, lavanya."

clearly, he had won again.

"that horrible man, devi maiyya, why do i keep meeting him?" khushi was before her dearest friend and protector again. the day had completely thrown her. after she fell down, finally the lucknow bystander who'd been watching delicately from afar had come running. suddenly, a whole crowd around her... muttering, murmuring, but since she was a girl, keeping their distance. she was hurt, her palms were grazed, and when she suddenly saw a leering man just inches away from her face, she screamed.

her dupatta had fallen off and lay a little away from her, and this leering tough, yeah he was big and obnoxious and... khushi shuddered at the thought... he said, "o ji, don't be angry that the man in the car didn't take you, i'm here, come, meri jaan, jaaneman..."

"what?" khushi could feel her anger surging, bringing with it the power to fight back. "you..."

but she didn't have to say much, a hand appeared from behind the man's head, caught him by the scruff, lifted him off the floor and threw him on the ground, away from khushi. khushi looked up agog. now what.

but looking back at her was a sharif, yes, definitely sharif... civilized and really gentle looking man with a sweet smile...

"are you ok?" asked the stranger. he carefully picked up the dupatta and handed it to her with the utmost respect. khushi was too taken aback and winded by events to say anything. she noticed as she took the dupatta, he wore a bracelet with a big chunky phiroza... what a pretty colour, she thought. and she had heard buaji say turquoise was an ancient protection amulet, it was a symbol of wealth, it cuts the evil eye and brings good energies. the man saw her eyes on his bracelet and smiled slightly then he turned to the goon now sitting up slowly and said, "hum lucknow ke hain... streeon ke saath iss tarah pesh nahin aate..." we're from lucknow, we don't treat women like this, at last khushi began to feel a little more like herself.

he bid the rest of the crowd to leave as there was really nothing to gawk at, and then with a "if you're fine, i'll take your leave," he walked away.

"what a nice man he was, devi maiyya... not like that..." she made a nasty face, "that... that laad governor... aa ha ha ha... lord of all he surveys... but, devi maiyya, i am really upset... nothing is going right, how much i'm trying to earn some money for jiji's shaadi, but nothing... and then this awful man... you tell me what should i do?"

just then buaji walked in, her only aunt on babuji's side, babuji's elder sister. "hai re nand kissore..." said she in her customary loud and colourful vein, "what are you barbaraaoing in front of your devi maiyya? hain? when will you learn the value of time, nand kissore, when? warm up the dinner, girls... you want your only bua to die of hunger, or what?"

khushi looked at her aunt's considerable girth, and couldn't suppress an impish grin.


time... time... yes, thought khushi... mustn't waste time... and opportunity. buaji was here, she would be leaving in a couple of days... what if... what if... khushi jumped up and went to the kitchen as buaji smiled in relief.

what if, khushi was thinking, she went to delhi with buaji and looked for a job... perfect solution!!! there were no jobs here. buaji always lamented her lonely situation, no one for this childless woman ever since her husband, bless his soul, had departed this world... so now, she could have the pleasure of the company of her favourite adopted niece khushi kumari gupta's company...

khushi smiled in triumph. then made a face again... and you, she thought, arnav singh raizada, in delhi i won't have to see your khadoos face again. understand?!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!! hoonh!

when buaji checked around half an hour later why dinner was taking so long. she found khushi immersed in making golden yellow, crispy, syrupy, luscious jalebis. a mound was ready next to the smoking kadai
. payal stood by her, quietly watching her little sister in action. hai re...


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offscreen segment
my husband is very concerned about his coma... he is yelling, "get him out of the coma, yaar... your hero's lying in a coma instead of frolicking with the girl..." i am rofling. he's accusing, this is the bengali serious movie element in you... the joy of sadness!!! i am snorting and giggling but insisting this is how it is... desperate, he's suggesting the "how to" out of it... "he's lying there, and she is looking at him crying... a tear drops on his eyelid. and his eyes open... he says, 'khushi!'" toing!!! think i. my daughter supports daddy's brilliance, "yes, that's how it happens in tangle..." she says with glee. so now, mother steals people from other people's tales and father and daughter whack ideas and scenes... this is getting hilarious. but sorry guys, i got to work out that gussa of mine... fikar not though, the tear shall fall. adding on: just read 5 july was the anniversary of rabba ve. i had no idea... i dedicate the first part to those powerful two words.

i wrote the offscreen segment when i first posted this chapter. thanks for reading and looking forward to your thoughts.


Last edited by indi52 on 2013-12-04, 22:29; edited 1 time in total

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-29, 23:42

Peeves wrote:Nice story, I want to read further.
thanks, i hope you enjoyed reading 7.:)

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-29, 23:44

Peeves wrote:It was long time since I cried reading something. Chapter 5 and 6 made me cry. You are a wonderful writer. Waiting to read more.
peeves,

hi i am indi... thanks so much for this. i am happy the words touched you. hope you enjoy the rest.

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-29, 23:47

Shegarf71 wrote:
Dearest Indi,
How I was torn with not being able to read since chapter three and here I arrive having read them altogether..IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!If you don't know already,you must be told..there's a soul of realism and an anticipation of the events following the reading of each chapter!!How I see the tiniest little nuances that you always felt wre part of ASR and KKG but we never got to see them..and here they are...

The chana
The rage correctly verbalized
The harshness of his actions
The buildup of emotion
Her quiet observations of him..once ASR had said to her.".I didn't know..KE tum mujhe itna kareeb se observe karti ho!" But then he did too!And it was always this deep silent understanding of each other's eyes and what they said to each other that was the power and enigma of their love!They were simply just built to be there for each other..lone way or the other..Arnav aur Khushi humesha saath rahenge...

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meenakshi,

thank you. love your thoughts nad words. i miss asr and khushi. sometimes i really worry i am not reading them right... when i read a comment like yours, a little happy yay... maybe they are still with me, mere paas mere saath... hope they are there always and no one can separate us. not really.

read when you can... no rush.

beautiful edit.

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Maria J on 2013-11-30, 21:04

Loved it Indi.. I'm liking this Dr Verma. 
Oh so Shyam is still plotting against for Khushi and money or is it only money??

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shegarf71 on 2013-12-02, 02:26

Dear Indi,
The accident connect..a brilliant twist of fate by the Author Wink Yes it had to be an accident,didn't it?So curious of Dr.Vermas flashback with the connection of Anjali's statement of her husbands actions!Payal always intuitive and silently strong...how I admired her character!The hero may be in coma, Wink  but he is alive in spirit always ...humesha..Unke baghair toh JAISE koi baat hi nahin bannti humaari!?...ASR ne kaha tha na..after kkgs sangeet performance! And so with the neat layout of this chapter...how you manage to balance their presence..Anjali,ASR,KKG,payal,doctor,buaji...love all their appearances..just like I was watching an episode of ipk directed by Indiji...:heart: 


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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by romail apa g on 2013-12-04, 13:14

Beautifully written ipk ...loved it

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by zuzana on 2013-12-04, 19:50

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Indi... I had a mini heart attack when he walked through the temple entrance ( in the promo) ... I died for a few seconds and saw him ( with that halo light in that promo surrounding him) walking through the pearly gate! ... Sigh ... My daughter brought me back to earth...Bang 
Gosh same feeling my heart skipped a beat seeing walk like that into the temple...so yummy Heart 

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-12-04, 20:45

zuzana wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]


Indi... I had a mini heart attack when he walked through the temple entrance ( in the promo) ... I died for a few seconds and saw him ( with that halo light in that promo surrounding him) walking through the pearly gate! ... Sigh ... My daughter brought me back to earth...Bang 
Gosh same feeling my heart skipped a beat seeing walk like that into the temple...so yummy Heart 
Zu...long hug  someone called me a cougar ( and rightly so) ... Yes, I would eat him alive.... Too yummy to resist.

At 2:44 .... Mae tumhe kha to nehi jaonga.... :lol!:  I can't give guarantee that I wouldn't ....:P 

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by zuzana on 2013-12-04, 21:42

Shesherkobita wrote:
zuzana wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]


Indi... I had a mini heart attack when he walked through the temple entrance ( in the promo) ... I died for a few seconds and saw him ( with that halo light in that promo surrounding him) walking through the pearly gate! ... Sigh ... My daughter brought me back to earth...Bang 
Gosh same feeling my heart skipped a beat seeing walk like that into the temple...so yummy Heart 
Zu...long hug  someone called me a cougar ( and rightly so) ... Yes, I would eat him alive.... Too yummy to resist.

At 2:44 .... Mae tumhe kha to nehi jaonga.... :lol!:    I can't give guarantee that I wouldn't ....:P 

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Sabi hope you had a fantastic holiday hug1 

You know he can evoke various emotions in you...one picture can make u feel like eating him while other can make you just hormonal :P  while another can make you feel like giving him a hug :lol!: ..this one was just too yummy...uffff

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-12-04, 22:14

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i saw this edit by farha (omoraboti) and "without you" started to come to me ... chapter 8 was calling. thank you so much, my dear farha, for letting me use it. and as always giving me an option, just in case. but i loved this one, the pink in it, the orange, the hues of red and all their longing. this story is in the end about a unique longing, and this chapter was really only about that. thank you so much. also thanks to everyone who reads this story, where the hero has been lying in a coma since the beginning. i am grateful that you're still here. really. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]i hope you enjoy 8, do let me know what you think. always lovely to hear from you. see you soon. and this is a rather long chapter, haven't counted the words, but took me a while. hope i got the words right. fret fret. fret fret.


chapter 8


"eternity is said not to be an extension of time but an absence of time,
and sometimes it seemed to me that her abandonment touched that strange mathematical point of endlessness, a point with no width. occupying no space."
~~~ graham greene, the end of the affair ~~~

she leaned over him and peered at his face intently. every plane, rise, fall, and curve of it, why was it so dear to her, a face she'd not known long, yet this is where forever met eternity and flowed into endlessness. hamesha. her hamesha. arnav ji, her arnav, her arnav singh raizada. and yes, also her asr.

she so needed to touch him now and feel his quickening skin, his instant comeback to her slightest call.

there he lay, still, in his own world, oblivious to her searching gaze, her desperate need. it had been almost six weeks since that afternoon when the whole world fell silent and a darkness came that was ever more dreadful, for no one knew where it led, did it lead anywhere at all? was the light ever coming back or was this all there was.

coma.

she shuddered, her eyes closed, a wretched breath left her body and fractured the calm around. a false calm it was anyway, one that had to be wrested from disquiet and maintained, otherwise things may really fall apart. and instinct told her not to let that happen, no matter what happened, how terrifying it all got.

she sat there leaning over him, her eyes refusing to look away, lingering over those little details that were him; inimitably, only him. the scar with three ridges on his left eyelid, oh it must have hurt him so much, that motorbike, that speed, her forehead creased as she involuntarily flinched at the thought, but then her eyes gleamed... that mark was him and that's all that mattered. her scrutiny continued over the ridge of his proud straight nose, down to his lips searching for the little drag to the right, that slight asymmetry which made it all perfect, made it him. she sat staring at the tiny groove where his lips met at the end, how tender that downward bend, she wanted to let her index finger run along it, probe gently, awaken it, tell it to make his lips move... it had been so long, almost 45 days of stillness.

his full, insistent lower lip, she could feel it pushing against her mouth, breaking down all resistance, permission had to be granted, but then when had she ever not wanted to give it... hum toh aap hi ke hai... i am but yours already... she remembered how he'd tricked her into admitting she was indeed his even before the seven pheras and all the mantras and rituals of marriage, and she remembered his lips on her cheeks, her forehead, and her mouth, her neck, her palm, her... she felt their warmth, their moistness, their sense of right, their huq, that arousal they brought along with them... every time... har baar... a heat rose across her face, burning her ears, she was blushing.

"dekhiye, aap bilkul bhi achhe nahin hain!" she pouted and complained aloud, you're not at all nice... "aapne itne dino se hum se ek baat bhi nahin ki, humey... chhuan nahin, dekha tak nahin, aur dekhiye humari haalat." you haven't spoken to me in so long, haven't... touched me, not even looked at me, and look at my state.

"chaliye, i will also be angry, i won't talk to you. samjhe aap?... hum shut up kar rahein hain... haan."

she made a moue, looked at him all upset and threw back her head with a little flounce. everything she knew that made him respond with alacrity... usually.

then she raised her hand and touched the side of his neck just below the ear, gently, her fingers feeling for something. she found it and a slow smile started to spread across her face, swiftly catching her eyes and settling there. she'd found the exact place where his stubble ended and smooth skin began. her fingers hungrily traced the line, all along his jawline, his neck, onto the other side. she stroked his cheek with the lightest touch, then let her thumb settle on his stubble and feel its roughness, its demand, its abrasive sweetness... yes, she loved the gritty planes and ridges and grooves of his face, their scratch against her skin made her feel things she sometimes described to herself when she was all alone. every word of that description inflamed her cheeks. how could she feel such things! yet she did, with him, because of him, for him. and she felt no shame though her cheeks pretended otherwise.

"see, arnav ji, though you are not listening to anything i say, i have made sure dan ji is taking care of you... your hair, your beard... (she could almost hear him snap "what the" at that)... ok ok hume pata hai, this is not a beard, whatever you call it... that thing... i called aman ji and told him to call dan ji the moment we brought you home..."

she smiled at her husband and carried on as though he could hear every word she said.

"the day we heard about that..." she stopped short, no, she wouldn't tell him about the phone call di had received. when payal and di had told her about it after coming back home that day, a fear beyond all measurable proportion had gripped her heart. she'd wanted to scream and cry and beat something. anything.

but she'd taken a deep long breath instead and gone to her room.

there she'd sat for hours before devi maiyya, wondering what she should do with this new catastrophic intimation. she'd looked out of the french windows where she'd often seen him thinking his thoughts, the pool water rippled and swirled and played unaware of the troubles. tears had flowed unstoppable from her eyes as a torrent of words rocked her mind. gradually had come a quiet, her mind had traveled inward, away from everything... like the day she'd received a phone call herself and a man's ragged voce had said "khushi, i love you." husky, gritty, eternal, hamesha.


we have known each other out of nowhere, we've loved each other in a way we never knew love could be, we've spoken to each other across distance, maybe even time, were we supposed to meet? did you know or i that day in sheesh mahal, under that blazing sun, in the bright blue pool, drowning together that we were to be together anyway, always? what did you and i know, how you and i struggled not to know, but here we are. you and i. yes, you are perhaps far from me right now. but you've been away before and then too there was the threat of death... murder... that time it was diesel... this time a bus... arnav ji...

yaad hai, aap ne kaha tha... "main uss ahsaas ki baat kar raha hoon jo hum tab mehsoos karte hain jab hum ek doosre se door hote hain... door rah kar bhi ek doosre ke paas hote hain... wahi pyaar hai, khushi..."

i speak of that feeling which we feel when we are far from each other... even when afar, we are close to each other... that is love, khushi.

haan, arnav, when we are far away from each other, we are still together, you and i, and that is love... i will not fear. i am scared to lose people, i once thought i couldn't bear it, not since amma and my babuji, all those years ago, but no, i shall bear, i shall not fear... you are in me, i am in you, together we will face this thing... even if it is called death.

"the day we heard about that ... option,"

khushi resumed talking to asr, "the option to bring a coma patient home, we immediately said, yes, you must come home, be in your room... i know you'll be happier here..."

it had been decided to move him to shantivan as security would be easier to manage here, in a private contained space. twenty four hour surveillance around the house and a mini intensive care unit in their bedroom, weeks had passed since the day she'd resolved to fight this battle the way she wanted to and he would want her to.

she plumped his pillows and sat by him once more.

"jaantey hain, jab se aap aaye hain, ghar mein sab kitne khush hain... nani ji has started going to satsang. di comes and shows off her new bangles to you and talks about ar, she's really enjoying her management classes... akash ji roz raat bahut der se aatey hain, woh aapka fashion show aa raha hai na... jiji looks a little sad but i make sure she gets her dose of tickles to keep her happy, pata hai mami ji is planning to go on a diet, hello hi bye bye," khushi did a perfect mami ji and giggled.

"aap sun rahein hai na? dr verma says you can hear, but arnav ji, till you tell me... how can i believe that... boliye... do you know doctor ji is a really nice man, that day when di was all upset about you, he was so kind to her... you think he and di... i must find out if he's married... haan haan aap kahenge it's none of my business... but phir bhi, you know me, naa," she held his hand tightly and smiled... but try as she might the tears just wouldn't be stopped, they clung to her lids and glistened...

"aur mama ji, he keeps telling me he is sure his bitwa will be well soon. amma and buaji come by regularly... and nanhe ji has made a trip from australia only to see you... his hindi is just as bad as ever, he said "khasta" instead of "khatra" the other day when he heard..." she stopped again, no she mustn't lose control, arnav mustn't hear of anything now, not when he was so helpless... "can you imagine... crisp instead of danger? when we said you were completely out of danger, you know... and see!!! have you seen what i'm wearing?!!"

she took his hand and moved his fingers over her clothes, "i am wearing a saree, just the way you like it... i know aap ko woh sab gote wala churidar itna bhi pasand nahin hai and just because i am comfortable in them you never tell me anything... but i want to wear what you like you know, i see things in your eyes... humari dhadkane..." her voice trembled, she hadn't seen his eyes for so so long.

"see... can you feel it... chiffon... i am wearing a very sundar green and yellow chiffon saree, and my hair is open, silky and flowing... haan... i have on this small little shiny bindi, and you know even though i say so, hume pata hai, i am looking very nice... don't you want to see me?" she paused for a moment, trying to come back to even keel; khushi, khushi, calm down, she admonished herself.

"i know i love to talk... mujh se chup nahin raha jata... that whether you talk or not i will go on... but that doesn't mean you just keep quiet, say nothing... it's been almost 45 days you know, i can't bear to not hear from you for a second... and it's been more than six weeks... chhai hafte, he devi maiyya...
i don't know about coma shoma, okay, now you talk to me... if i'd done this to you how would you feel? haan? what the, what the karte rahtein aap!!... i know i am strong," a little sob escaped unnoticed..." you make me strong... and... and i am pretty strong anyway, but phir bhi... is this fair...?" the tears were streaming down her face by now, her voice grew louder, angrier, completely in love, "enough! if you won't talk to to me, i will also not speak with you, and because you are being so stubborn, arnav singh raizada, i will also be akdoo, like you, i will also go away... bas."

with that she got up and turned around... away from him, the free end of her saree, her gossamer light yellow and green chiffon pallu swished and spread out.

***

he'd just stepped out of his suv in the hotel porch, the valet was about to take his car for parking. the day had been overcast, incessant thunder and heavy showers, pity his client had been cooped up his first day in delhi in the hotel room. arnav singh raizda was here to meet his client for dinner; black shirtsleeves, sleek waistcoat of charcoal gray buttoned down all the way, black trousers, silver black narrow custom made tie, hair brushed back, gleaming skin, glittering cognac eyes, perfect stubble, he had every idea what this did to the passing stranger of the female kind. however, it mattered little to him. mere information, that's all. he was too sharp not to notice.

as he turned to stride up the steps to the lobby, a gust of wind.

and a soft billowing light something blew over his face and moved across it. caressing, gentle, sensual, sensuous... he knew this touch, he was a man of fashion, fabric was his business, his passion. chiffon... he said to himself, fine, pure silk chiffon, only that had this smoothness, this delicate yet inviting lightness against the skin. this swish. it clung to the disruptive stubble on his cheek before sliding off .

he turned along with it and looked up. there she stood, in her red chiffon saree, the pallu still finding its way to her, the wind having led it astray. deep dark crimson red, colour of blood, around a lissome shimmery figure, alabaster white translucent skin. a moment ago the red was on him... plain chiffon with a narrow border of sequins in the same shade, glinting. her hair was open, auburn tresses swinging down all the way to her waist, a few strands flew in the breeze, bangs falling forward onto her forehead, large opalescent danglers swayed on either side of her oval, finely chiselled face. almond shaped eyes with dark expressive irises, now clearly startled, under
arched perfect dark eyebrows, aquiline nose with a haughtiness all its own, high cheek bones, line of cheek flowing to clean jawline and down to a long endless neck, and those lips. again those lips... soft, innocent, from that day in the pool, that day in the mandir, and that morning when he had...

he wanted to say something... but he couldn't. she was beautiful. utterly, absolutely, crimsonly. he couldn't think beyond that, only feel a desire to go near... as close as he could... what was happening to him. he gulped.

she looked at him aghast. when she'd felt her pallu getting caught in something, she'd turned involuntarily... and seen a man in black, his face covered. a slim, lithe man, in differently cut clothes, not like the men she met... and then his face came into view. hair slicked back, hard jawline, sharp straight nose, but all she could see were those eyes... glowing, colour of chocolate, how she loved chocolates, a fire lighting in them slowly, smouldering brown eyes. chocolate melting.

for a long moment the world paused. two people looked at each other. taking in things that only the wind and the rain and the night knew of. there was a song in them it seemed, a lilting strain that rose skyward, a melody not all could hear, but some could, yes some could... perhaps some day it would reach the right ears.

a streak of lightning, a crack of thunder... the spell broke. she whirled to run up the stairs and away from that gaze... it did things to her that it wasn't meant to... he was the rakshas...

he stood motionless. her hair, those locks on her forehead, he wanted to touch them, just once... tuck them behind her ears, those tiny lobes... he shook his head, what the f...!!

she wasn't used to heels, she shouldn't have listened to jiji and worn them, but it was preeto's wedding and they were going to a big five star hotel in delhi, she'd never been to one.  payal was worried about khushi, she was sad every day about not getting a job still... there was no point telling her it had only been five days since they'd arrived. the mountains of daily jalebi were getting so big even the neighbours and all the voracious kids of lakshmi nagar couldn't finish them. payal hoped dressing up and going to her friend's wedding would take the gloom off her sister's mind.

khushi tripped and as she fell backward with a squealing yelp, he was galvanized in a way he never had been before. all he knew was that he had to catch her before she hit the ground. he forgot he'd pushed her violently only a few days back and driven off, he forgot he felt she was sent by someone to spy on him, he forgot his anger with her... arms outstretched, he ran up the stairs and caught her.

the impact made him lose balance almost, but he stood firm, in his arms a woman in red that he couldn't take his eyes off. her lips were quivering and she was muttering something to herself. what was she saying? she raised her eyes and looked at him and again that sensation of drowning.

"i have to stop this," he thought.

"i must get away," she thought.

"so you followed me to delhi," he said in the nastiest, coldest, most insulting way he could.

she stiffened all over and glared back, lips pursing.

his eyes didn't miss the change in those lips. no! said his head. he abruptly set her down on the stairs and strode off.

she stood right there for almost a whole minute, trying to gather herself...
 

***

the young boy wandered into the unfamiliar place. he'd never been here before, such a pretty space, where was he? it was so green...  filled with fresh colours, there were plants everywhere, shrubs, young trees, saplings in a nursery bed, a strong tall tree near the centre of the garden... yes, one could call it a garden, only he knew nothing like this existed anywhere, something told him that. was it the mist or the coolness in the air, something said it was not here, not here, somewhere away. yet somewhere close. so close.

what a strange feeling. what was that tree... was it a sal? solid, tall, dense, sal tree? where had he heard of that before? someone told him a story once about a tree. wasn't that a sal?

he stood there looking around, bemused, such an ethereal quality to this place. who was that? at the far end of a hedge swathed in a profusion of mauve, purple, frilly wisteria falling upon it from an overhanging trellis, he saw her.

she was working on her pots, they sat on a ledge, a saree covered her head to foot, her pallu hid most of her profile. yet he knew her... of course, he knew her. he felt his heart do a flip and begin to race. she was here, oh and he'd been looking all over...

he started to hurry toward her, he knew there was no need to say anything. she would know.

as he closed the gap separating them, why did he feel as if it grew a bit wider. again he tried, again that feeling. was she further away? no... he had to reach her. he started to walk resolutely in her direction.

this time the distance didn't shift. he was getting closer. just a few more steps.

she turned even as he thought this. there she stood. beautiful, loving, her smile so loving, he wanted to fly to it. to hold her. to never ever...

he stopped. she'd just said something. was he ok?

yes, yes, he was... now that she was here.

was he happy?

it threw him, this question.

happy? khush? but he hadn't thought of happiness for so long...

khush. as he thought of the word, he started to feel it in him. a small little nudging feeling, and slowly it grew, expanding and growing and touching him, till he wanted to say it.

he looked at her.

she stood there smiling. the kindest, most loving smile.

he knew what he had to do. he had to say it.

"khush..." he said and then he knew not why, he let his voice carry on and find an "i." "khushi!" the "kh" seemed to caress his throat as he released it with a tenderness, on the "shi" he exhaled and felt a world a galaxy a universe of sadness fall away.

"khushi," he said again and looked at her.

she smiled once more.

he stood there smiling back at her, a part of him wanted to bridge that distance forever.

but she had reminded him. and he felt a restlessness. forever called but it was elsewhere.

"khushi." he had to find her... the bus... "khushiii!"


***

she felt a tug on her pallu, she froze. her hand reached up and caught her pallu at the shoulder instinctively.

this couldn't be. she remembered what had happened with the tea... her dupatta caught in cactus thorns and she flinging hot tea on his face, his chest... ufff. her heart was pounding. she so wanted it to be what she knew it couldn't be... she had hoped so many times in these days... every waking second of all these weeks, sometimes even in her sleep, her dreams... yet, she had to be strong... this could not...

"jaa rahi ho?" his voice was soft, husky, with that grain that was his. only his.

she closed her eyes, a rush of blood, crimson, gushing, pounding coursed through her toes, her gut, her head, her ears.

she whirled around.

and looked straight into chocolate brown eyes. glittering.




(since i am a very obedient wife and doting mother, i decided to listen to my husband and daughter.)




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Last edited by indi52 on 2013-12-17, 17:11; edited 6 times in total

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-12-04, 22:28

hi all, how goes?

meenakshi, maria, romail, sabi, zuzana... thanks for reading.

hope to come for a chat over the weekend. :)

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shegarf71 on 2013-12-05, 04:29

Hope to see u soon Indi!! long hug 
And he awakes!!!.....
The beauty that is in the eyes of his beloved...
The memory of each line and curve..
Holds a special place in her heart..
They can never be apart..
Should fate try its fury..
Should man try his ill deeds..
The bond that is shared by them..
With distance grows their love indeed!

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by romail apa g on 2013-12-07, 16:58

it was simply amazing ...

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Maria J on 2013-12-07, 17:00

indi52 wrote:hi all, how goes?

meenakshi, maria, romail, sabi, zuzana... thanks for reading.

hope to come for a chat over the weekend. :)
Weekend is going to be a great one cheers cheers 

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Maria J on 2013-12-07, 17:56

Loved reading this part.. Yay!! finally Arnav is awake.. Heart Heart Party1

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-12-08, 05:49

Mora piya moh se bolat naahin...
Dwar jiya ke kholat naahin...
Mora piya moh se bolat naahin...
With "without u", these lines always play in my mind...n ys, there r much more...
Firstly, let me tell u, ur family is awesome threesome (imagine from ASR's voice ;-) )...loved to knw 'how he awakes' is invented...ur story is reflecting ipk much..interesting onscreen n offscreen both...hehe
Chapter 7...finally my two most awaited angle entered...shyam, u wrote very apt...loved it, in the show i was hoping more of shyam after 'arshi fate marriage',that hunger remained unsaturated wth kidnapping track n furthermath...
Lavanya, i do loved her a lot in the show...in a short span of time,she was the most properly summed up char as per me...i always sympathize wth positive shaded one-sided-lovers (thanks to k-dramas) n respect them...lavanya was one such char...
Willing to explore her here too...
As the caller on behalf of shyam is a girl,i m just hoping she is not lavanya...Anjali di's intutions...supportive n loving payal..i m loving the progress in the story..specially, di's n dr. Shahab's part...
Let arnav be silent if it is needed, i m ready to wait...forever..for him to emerge from d dark n color our lives...afterall, its him "sabra ka fal mitha hota hai"...
(now upto chap 8, feeling grt to b bck :-) )

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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-12-12, 07:35


I lay in soft bed of memories,i continue to think us..think of u..
I love u so so much not to let u go, i dont know what shall i do...
Yes,i feel ur warmth at my side, at my insides...
Pain in our heart, moves along,upto my eyes...
As it is,U look so much faraway still i feel u so near...
U r the sole reason i exist, as i m, i'm still here...
I await the times, my smile adorning ur lips...
When i hear u say those 'i love u damn it!!!'s...
I await the times, together we can walk...
Peaceful paths,holding hands, we will talk...
I want to feel u for real...
so close to me...
Closer than the breathe i take...
These heartbeats i hear...
Open ur eyes,just look at mine...
Wake up the lost dream,of our life...


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Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

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