Latest topics

arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Page 2 of 9 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-11-12, 06:07

Indi... This is the second time I'm reading this and I feel the same chills down my spine.... Sigh.... There is a personal story behind this chilling feeling... You are one of those writers who make it so real it's scary... Thanks for saying it will end happily... It would've too much otherwise. Love this sooooo much...

Sabi

Shesherkobita
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 6421
Join date : 2013-02-13
Location : Pennsylvania, USA

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-11-12, 06:16

Indi .... Ami ER e Kaj korchilum back in 1996... Not married yet... Ek jon patient was admitted whose face was blown off by a home made bomb... He was still alive... Part of his face was still visible and I could see that he had a beard. Amar Bondhu ( porey tar shathe amar bie hoy) was sporting a bread at that time... The paralyzing fear that runs through your spine, whole body when you think you are going to lose your loved one... is unexplainable... I went through his wallet to see who he was... He wasn't my friend... Kintu ami tomakeo Boley Bujhatey parbo na shei feeling ... Somehow you are able to capture it in your writing.... U are something else.... 
BTW, Shilpa can help you hide post partially... Taholey Jokhon keo portey chabey tar comment korety hobey... Taholey Tumi shob reader der dekhtey pabey...Oboshsho tomar Ichchar upor... Na korleo kichu Ashe jae na.... I just love reading your posts over and over.

Shesherkobita
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 6421
Join date : 2013-02-13
Location : Pennsylvania, USA

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 08:33

Shesherkobita wrote:Indi .... Ami ER e Kaj korchilum back in 1996... Not married yet... Ek jon patient was admitted whose face was blown off by a home made bomb... He was still alive... Part of his face was still visible and I could see that he had a beard. Amar Bondhu ( porey tar shathe amar bie hoy) was sporting a bread at that time... The paralyzing fear that runs through your spine, whole body when you think you are going to lose your loved one... is unexplainable... I went through his wallet to see who he was... He wasn't my friend... Kintu ami tomakeo Boley Bujhatey parbo na shei feeling ... Somehow you are able to capture it in your writing.... U are something else.... 
BTW, Shilpa can help you hide post partially... Taholey Jokhon keo portey chabey tar comment korety hobey... Taholey Tumi shob reader der dekhtey pabey...Oboshsho tomar Ichchar upor... Na korleo kichu Ashe jae na.... I just love reading your posts over and over.
hi sabi,

read that and went crazy inside. paralyzing fear yes. and we are old enough and tried enough to know all these things can and do happen. 

shob kichhu bole bojhano ki jaay/ in fact, what we can't explain they somehow are often so much more important... parts of us. our underpinnings. 

you worked in er? must have been quite an experience.

sometimes i feel like i have been pulled by the hair through a raging inferno and somehow must survive.

melodramatic i know... but that's the feeling. one way is to just not look at those feelings... look at distractions and zip through it all. it's a useful ploy. 

but after years i saw something that made me touch my most innocent and real feelings including the dhakdhaks for a hot boy. i feel a funny connection with ipk. and it makes me write.

you are too good for my ego... always appreciative of my writing. can't thank you enough.

ipk somewhere makes me clearly understand good work is complete in itself and it defies transience. it stays. it takes root and inspires. inspires what you'll never know.

thanks for liking without you. my very first fan fiction tale. something i'd sworn i'd never write. 

long hug

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 08:54

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

thank you all for reading the prologue to this tale. here's the first chapter... do share your thoughts on it, and i try to reply to all comments, would be great if you could check later.



chapter 1


na jayate mriyate va kadacin
for the soul there is never birth nor death
nayam bhutva bhavita va na bhuyah

nor, having once been does he ever cease to be
ajo nitya sasvato 'yam purano

he is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, undying and primeval
na hanyate hanyamane sarire

he is not slain when the body is slain

~~~ bhagwat gita ~~~


she could feel the graze of his thumb on her cheek bone, a tremble in it. a tremble that became a shiver inside her that traveled down her breath straight to her diaphragm and then dropped to the pit of her stomach.

what was he doing... this was not right... like this? how could he touch her like this?


she felt his warm breath on her eyelids and she couldn't think anymore.

his mouth came close, the taut thin bow shaped upper lip, the lush, full lip below. through half open eyes she gazed memerized at the characteristic dragged down edge on the right... an imperfection. so why did her fingers want to touch it? feel it, stroke it... kiss it. kiss it? what was she thinking.

"khushi!" a hoarse whisper, thick and guttural, she'd never heard him sound like this before, all she wanted to do was take that utterance, the way he said her name, into her and keep it there forever.

then she felt his lips on hers. gentle as an early april drizzle... she'd never felt a man's lips on hers before either, never known it would be like this. she was not supposed to be doing this something said inside her, but she couldn't heed that, her lips had already pressed back in acquiescence... no, delight. 

salt, earth, and a sensation of falling from a dizzying height. she allowed her lips to stay locked with his, not knowing what she should do next, yet wanting to do so much. 

his lips nuzzled against hers and then the pressure grew harder and he began to kiss her with unreined passion. his breath had quickened, his teeth nipped her tender mouth, his tongue made her feel terrible things. "khushi," he whispered between little sharp bites and searching kisses... "kiss me," he breathed into her mouth. his hands gripped the back of her head and pulled her closer to him, his body was beginning to press against hers... an urgency shook him. 


his lips left her mouth and marked a trail of featherlight hungry kisses from her temple to her cheek, "kiss me, i said, dammit " he demanded as he began to head back to her mouth.

she opened her lips wanting to obey that command, her ears were filled with a loud deafening noise... dhak dhak... dhak dhak. her lips began to close over his. 

no... no. no. suddenly she froze. no. she couldn't do this, not like this, this was all wrong... so wrong.

she pushed hard against his shoulders, he fell back startled, and before he could say anything, she slipped out of his reach and ran. round the pool, and up the stairs, she had to get away from him as fast as possible. while she still had some resolve.

***

the salt was still on her lips, and the rain... she wanted it to drench her... how could she!

in her rush, she'd forgotten to say goodbye to lavanya ji, anjali ji, nani ji, everyone. she'd even forgotten to stop an auto. she was half running, half tripping down the road as though pursued by the devil. 

"hey devi maiyya," her lips formed a silent prayer. she closed her eyes and prayed.

her heart pleaded with her beautiful mother goddess, how could she be so weak... how could she let him touch her... he belonged to another woman, lavanya ji was his girl friend. she lived with him. she cared about him. and what was wrong with this man? wasn't he in love with his girl friend? didn't he respect her? their relationship? how could he do all that, that ... those things he was doing... with her? he was really bad. rakshas. laad governor.

then she saw devi maiyya's face in her mind. a little smile on it, as though asking her if indeed that was all it was. he did badtameezi and she suffered. 

"nahin... matlab... aise nahin," there was no escaping devi maiyya's kind loving gaze. 

the suv screeched to a halt next to her. she jumped back in terror, what was wrong with the driver, did he want to -?

"gadi mein baitho, khushi," his voice was harsh. he wasn't looking at her, just straight ahead. 

she was shocked, her mouth forming that trademark "o".

"didn't you hear me... i said, get in the car..." gritted teeth, fire in his breath.

that anger got her going. "nahiin, aap hear me... main aapke saath..." 

before she could say another word, he was out of the car, around it, and gripping her upper arm... "khushi!"

she heard the anger, his gussa.

she heard the other thing, just below the gussa.

she wanted to resist. but she had to melt. his eyes looked at her intently, chocolate champagne swirl. why was he looking at her like that? 

he gently pushed her into the passenger seat of the suv, reached across and put on her seat belt. she stiffened involuntarily as she felt his lean supple chest against her.

she sat silent, all the fight just gone from her. drained.

he got back into the driver's side, and started the car. "kahan jana chahti ho?" where do you want to go, he asked in a level voice.

"aap se kya matlab?" she said. "aap ke paas," whispered her heart. 

he turned and just gave her that long look of his. she was surprised he didn't snap.

"mandir..." she mumbled. she needed to be with devi maiyya for a while. 

without a word he drove her to the devi maiyya temple. how did he know she wanted to come here, there was the ram mandir he'd dropped her and anjali ji at, and the shiv mandir too, yet...

she clambered out quickly... and with a hasty, "chalte hain," bolted up the steps.  at the head of the steps she stopped, should she turn back once and see if he were still there, one time... why do you want to see that nasty laad governor, asked her mind, just as talkative as her.

she resumed walking.

behind, an engine started, revved and and then a car drove off.

she hurried to devi maiyaa.

fifteen minutes later, feeling just a little calmer, khushi came down the temple steps.

he stood leaning against the banister at street level. lean, dapper in his cool casual blue shirt... her fingers had clutched that collar 
desperatelyjust a few minutes ago... her face began to flame at the thought.

she couldn't see his eyes behind the shades he'd donned, but was that a smile forming at the corner of that dragged down edge of his lips!

that laad governor... how could he! she went even more red.

"aap samajhte kya hain apne aap ko," who do you think you are, her voice shook with rage.

in a second the smile was gone, a lean arm whipped out, and his hand grasped hers, he dragged her toward the suv parked a little away. she tried to resist but he was not in a mood to give in... and when she persisted, he turned and without a word just picked her up in his arms and carried her with long strides to the car.

as she struggled, something flashed in her head... was it a memory? a dark night... a night of storm... she was tired, dead beat, passing out, and arms like these had gone around her, picked her up...

but before that, fingers on her cheek bones, long slender, gentle fingers stroking her cheek...

so gentle, so lost in her.

she stopped struggling and looked at him helplessly.

what was happening to her?

he stared back at her long.

***

when they reached her home, she turned to say something... "ar...nav ji... aap..."

"khushi... main..."

they both spoke at once.

"yeh sab... woh sab... woh aap... main... yeh sab theek nahin..."

"tum theek ho?" he asked, his voice soft, husky, the slightest grit of salt in it.

she looked at him then. hey devi maiyya, what was happening to her?


***

but why was he pushing her suddenly? and it wasn't evening... it was blazing afternoon heat and light... she was falling...

her eyes closed tightly... "hey devi maiyya," on her lips.

when she opened them, it was the blue and white of hospital walls, a man in white was standing before her... his lips were moving but she couldn't hear a thing... why? what was...

akash came forward and held her hand... she looked into his eyes, and her knees almost gave way. 

di held her from the other side and gently made her sit down... she looked up at the man in white and at last she heard his words.

"mrs raizada," he said...

"khushi kumari gupta singh raizada, " she corrected him without missing a beat. 


a man with a wicked grin was looking at her as she leaned against a wall by the poolside, and he was coming closer and closer, "khushi kumari gupta..." he teased, "singh raizada..." she had to concede. then he kissed her cheeks, left, then right, then each eyelid, then her forehead... and...                                                      

"i am so sorry to have to tell you, we tried our best... but..."


everything blacked out.

payal stepped forward and hugged her sister's limp body in her arms and rocked her gently.





[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.][You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]


Last edited by indi52 on 2013-11-14, 05:04; edited 2 times in total

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Abavi on 2013-11-12, 09:38

Wow! Can a dream be written so beautifully? I can hear my own heartbeat...

Thanks for this quick update Indi, I need to learn this thing from you... somehow timely updates always slip me!

Abavi
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 4023
Join date : 2013-02-06
Location : India

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 09:42

hi vi,

oh i am really bad with updates... minimum 2 weeks. but i have 16 chapters of without you already written... thought i'd post one every day for the next two weeks, then do once week sort of updates.

i saw your os... was trying to see how to hide a chapter... failed ha ha. think i'll read your story instead. did i read jealous arnav? am swimmy already :) .

thanks for reading. see ya.

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Abavi on 2013-11-12, 10:47

indi52 wrote:hi vi,

oh i am really bad with updates... minimum 2 weeks. but i have 16 chapters of without you already written... thought i'd post one every day for the next two weeks, then do once week sort of updates.

i saw your os... was trying to see how to hide a chapter... failed ha ha. think i'll read your story instead. did i read jealous arnav? am swimmy already :) .

thanks for reading. see ya.
Thats simple you need to put the tag [hide] on the starting of the passage which you want to hide and then put the tag again at the end of the passage with a \ in between [ and hide] with no space..

Yeah, I love making him J, his reactions are to go gaga over when he is J, you will find a lot of situations like that in my stories...

Abavi
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 4023
Join date : 2013-02-06
Location : India

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-11-12, 10:55

Shesherkobita wrote:Indi .... Ami ER e Kaj korchilum back in 1996... Not married yet... Ek jon patient was admitted whose face was blown off by a home made bomb... He was still alive... Part of his face was still visible and I could see that he had a beard. Amar Bondhu ( porey tar shathe amar bie hoy) was sporting a bread at that time... The paralyzing fear that runs through your spine, whole body when you think you are going to lose your loved one... is unexplainable... I went through his wallet to see who he was... He wasn't my friend... Kintu ami tomakeo Boley Bujhatey parbo na shei feeling ... Somehow you are able to capture it in your writing.... U are something else.... 
BTW, Shilpa can help you hide post partially... Taholey Jokhon keo portey chabey tar comment korety hobey... Taholey Tumi shob reader der dekhtey pabey...Oboshsho tomar Ichchar upor... Na korleo kichu Ashe jae na.... I just love reading your posts over and over.
sabi! I also m back at that time with ur words...i was just 6-7 yrs old...dint even knw what is death then n i saw my brother fighting with that...kidney failure...he was hospitalized...i cant say what i felt then n still feel abt that...just i hate to go into hospitals even today...his body was swelled up 3-4 times his normal size...hell it is, the feeling...today also when i remember those days, it shatters me to no end...god's grace he is alive, with us betn us... but stil its extremely scary to think otherwise...still dnt knw why but i dnt even try to forget that...rather,reopen the album sometimes n his scary face haunts me down still today,where everythings is fine...feeling "without u" is pure hell...n surprisingly dnt want to remove that frm life, what am i??

What indi wrote on prolouge is life...she writes exceptionally real...it happens nth times with nth families, nth beautiful persons...ipk is very close to my heart...it is arnav-anjali for me as much as arnav-khushi but still in last moments i was ready to see arnav die?? Was nt i contradicting myself?? What kills me to even think wat happened with me n i was ready to witness same for anjali/khushi/me again?? I myself m amazed at my selfishness...with arnav's death i wanted to feel another one hell to trust he wont ever be alive in my life as he used to,filling my days with his presence...was it?? I dnt knw...i dnt really knw the other(except barun) angle fully...its mild, its contradicting, no conclusion...just was ready to see him give a lifeless life to khushi/anjali/me to learn to live without him...

A.N.Jell_Zarina
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 2716
Join date : 2013-07-16

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-11-12, 12:39

Awww, i m lost...dream of the kiss, memorising that special heaven in a daze, as special as the first kiss itself...happiness n pain, transporting one to another in a blink of eye...awesome indi...loved it...i need to read it again damn it :-)

A.N.Jell_Zarina
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 2716
Join date : 2013-07-16

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-11-12, 12:48

indi52 wrote:hi vi,

oh i am really bad with updates... minimum 2 weeks. but i have 16 chapters of without you already written... thought i'd post one every day for the next two weeks, then do once week sort of updates.

i saw your os... was trying to see how to hide a chapter... failed ha ha. think i'll read your story instead. did i read jealous arnav? am swimmy already :) .

thanks for reading. see ya.
u shud discuss abt hiding with Vi, shilpa here...they can help u ...i do want to suggest u a new thread for a new chapter, wil u??
Wil be easy to read n discuss concrete, just my view...thanks for early update...

ps=love ur signature...u r not nuts...rather u do have guts to accept the tragedy usually n still live in the world of ur love :-) after almost a year since bye


Last edited by Aasudi on 2013-11-12, 12:52; edited 1 time in total

A.N.Jell_Zarina
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 2716
Join date : 2013-07-16

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Maria J on 2013-11-12, 12:50

Loved it Indi.. 
Thanks for the update so soon.. Waiting for more :)

Maria J
Moderator
Moderator

Posts : 8584
Join date : 2013-02-07

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by archie_79 on 2013-11-12, 13:31

Beautiful update Indi, The poolside Kiss was dreamy Heart 

Loved ur back & forth scenes of past & present

archie_79
Video Updater
Video Updater

Posts : 10356
Join date : 2013-02-04
Location : Bangalore

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by romail apa g on 2013-11-12, 15:37

very very very interesting but heartbreaking tooo in d end ....and plz encourage abavi to update her stories too .plz plz plz ....

romail apa g
Beginner
Beginner

Posts : 32
Join date : 2013-07-17

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 16:02

Aasudi wrote:
indi52 wrote:hi vi,

oh i am really bad with updates... minimum 2 weeks. but i have 16 chapters of without you already written... thought i'd post one every day for the next two weeks, then do once week sort of updates.

i saw your os... was trying to see how to hide a chapter... failed ha ha. think i'll read your story instead. did i read jealous arnav? am swimmy already :) .

thanks for reading. see ya.
u shud discuss abt hiding with Vi, shilpa here...they can help u ...i do want to suggest u a new thread for a new chapter, wil u??
Wil be easy to read n discuss concrete, just my view...thanks for early update...
hi sush,

thanks, vi just told me again how to hide. will try next chapter.  think i should do a fresh thread for each chapter? i usually, put in one thread and update but if new threads are easy... shall do so, no problem.

thanks for liking the update. reading again? i am thrilled. :)

i read your chat with sabi about hospitals and watching a dear person in a terrible state. ever since i can remember, there was one in my home who needed the constant attention of doctors. when he was 8 or 9 he almost went away, i was 12/13, how mean i was, hated going to the hospital. still do. worst place for me... drains me... layers of terrifying, memories inside maybe.

i am so happy your brother is there, and hopefully well.

i grew up thinking awful things don't happen. now i know they do. you just do what you have to and some things afford peace and joy and a sense of fun and lightness, alongside lives the tears and the sad feelings and the sense of helplessness that life has within it... we get by.

it's the worse thing to watch a part of you, your loved one suffer. sometimes so bad, you block it and don't let it come anywhere near. because you won't be able to bear it.

i don't know why i write fan fiction, why i write reams on every episode. but i connect to this story somewhere. after years something has come along that helps me touch spaces within me, it connects, i feel like me. above all, writing makes me happy. now i know when something does that, just keep it... no need to think too much.

i am honoured and touched that anyone should read my rambles and enjoy or be touched in turn... it's a wizzard feeling... yeah just that.

will post chapter 2 on a new thread tomorrow... see ya.

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 16:03

romail apa g wrote:very very very interesting but heartbreaking tooo in d end ....and plz encourage abavi to update her stories too .plz plz plz ....
thanks so much... but i hope you won't be heartbroken finally... okay, shall try to get vi to update...

you listening, vi? :)

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 16:06

archie_79 wrote:Beautiful update Indi, The poolside Kiss was dreamy Heart 

Loved ur back & forth scenes of past & present
hey shilpa, thanks so much.

glad you like the movement across time.

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 16:07

Maria J wrote:Loved it Indi.. 
Thanks for the update so soon.. Waiting for more :)
hi maria,

thanks so much... will update every day the first two weeks, he he i have 16 chapters written... then will be me trying hard for once every 10 days or so.

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-12, 16:21

Aasudi wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:Indi .... Ami ER e Kaj korchilum back in 1996... Not married yet... Ek jon patient was admitted whose face was blown off by a home made bomb... He was still alive... Part of his face was still visible and I could see that he had a beard. Amar Bondhu ( porey tar shathe amar bie hoy) was sporting a bread at that time... The paralyzing fear that runs through your spine, whole body when you think you are going to lose your loved one... is unexplainable... I went through his wallet to see who he was... He wasn't my friend... Kintu ami tomakeo Boley Bujhatey parbo na shei feeling ... Somehow you are able to capture it in your writing.... U are something else.... 
BTW, Shilpa can help you hide post partially... Taholey Jokhon keo portey chabey tar comment korety hobey... Taholey Tumi shob reader der dekhtey pabey...Oboshsho tomar Ichchar upor... Na korleo kichu Ashe jae na.... I just love reading your posts over and over.
sabi! I also m back at that time with ur words...i was just 6-7 yrs old...dint even knw what is death then n i saw my brother fighting with that...kidney failure...he was hospitalized...i cant say what i felt then n still feel abt that...just i hate to go into hospitals even today...his body was swelled up 3-4 times his normal size...hell it is, the feeling...today also when i remember those days, it shatters me to no end...god's grace he is alive, with us betn us... but stil its extremely scary to think otherwise...still dnt knw why but i dnt even try to forget that...rather,reopen the album sometimes n his scary face haunts me down still today,where everythings is fine...feeling "without u" is pure hell...n surprisingly dnt want to  remove that frm life, what am i??

What indi wrote on prolouge is life...she writes exceptionally real...it happens nth times with nth families, nth beautiful persons...ipk is very close to my heart...it is arnav-anjali for me as much as arnav-khushi but still in last moments i was ready to see arnav die?? Was nt i contradicting myself?? What kills me to even think wat happened with me n i was ready to witness same for anjali/khushi/me again?? I myself m amazed at my selfishness...with arnav's death i wanted to feel another one hell to trust he wont ever be alive in my life as he used to,filling my days with his presence...was it?? I dnt knw...i dnt really knw the other(except barun) angle fully...its mild, its contradicting, no conclusion...just was ready to see him give a lifeless life to khushi/anjali/me to learn to live without him...
beautifully felt that last bit...

for me too it was a story of chhotey and di as much as about arnav ji and khushi and asr and indi. it was funnily about nani and chhotey too. sometimes he was my brother, sometimes my heart throb, sometimes a beautiful dream, and at times he was me.

my chhotey finally left me the year i turned 50. the same year i noticed barun in a ridiculous serial... soon after came bhph, he seemed cute, but then came asr and made him undeniable. i will never forget he wore red on a special day and their telepathic conversation happened on yet another remarkable date. life is a crazy game...

all of us in our stories. like these two.

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-11-13, 07:36

indi52 wrote:
Aasudi wrote:
indi52 wrote:hi vi,

oh i am really bad with updates... minimum 2 weeks. but i have 16 chapters of without you already written... thought i'd post one every day for the next two weeks, then do once week sort of updates.

i saw your os... was trying to see how to hide a chapter... failed ha ha. think i'll read your story instead. did i read jealous arnav? am swimmy already :) .

thanks for reading. see ya.
u shud discuss abt hiding with Vi, shilpa here...they can help u ...i do want to suggest u a new thread for a new chapter, wil u??
Wil be easy to read n discuss concrete, just my view...thanks for early update...
hi sush,

thanks, vi just told me again how to hide. will try next chapter.  think i should do a fresh thread for each chapter? i usually, put in one thread and update but if new threads are easy... shall do so, no problem.

thanks for liking the update. reading again? i am thrilled. :)

i read your chat with sabi about hospitals and watching a dear person in a terrible state. ever since i can remember, there was one in my home who needed the constant attention of doctors. when he was 8 or 9 he almost went away, i was 12/13, how mean i was, hated going to the hospital. still do. worst place for me... drains me... layers of terrifying, memories inside maybe.

i am so happy your brother is there, and hopefully well.

i grew up thinking awful things don't happen. now i know they do. you just do what you have to and some things afford peace and joy and a sense of fun and lightness, alongside lives the tears and the sad feelings and the sense of helplessness that life has within it... we get by.

it's the worse thing to watch a part of you, your loved one suffer. sometimes so bad, you block it and don't let it come anywhere near. because you won't be able to bear it.

i don't know why i write fan fiction, why i write reams on every episode. but i connect to this story somewhere. after years something has come along that helps me touch spaces within me, it connects, i feel like me. above all, writing makes me happy. now i know when something does that, just keep it... no need to think too much.

i am honoured and touched that anyone should read my rambles and enjoy or be touched in turn... it's a wizzard feeling... yeah just that.

will post chapter 2 on a new thread tomorrow... see ya.
thanks dear...not going to hospitals, u were nt mean,not at all...i also dint went until i heard some of my relative saying he wont come back home...i clearly remember even if i was too small,those moment of agony...n then i went hospital,nt leaving my stubbornness when dad-mom refused,to see hm lifeless weak surronded by whatever machines...hospitals r scary since then but the fact also is that scary place saved him as i thnk now...
Yes,he is absolutely fine now...n surprisingly is as scary as hospitals(hehe)... Whenever i see angry young men in fiction shows i feel inspired by my brother...absolute ctrl freak...scolding is in his veins...i luv hm...n ur story is hpy ends,winning over agony...all will be well...the pain gone thru wil also feel fine if u win...loved those 'geeta' lines n implications of that in our story...great job please do keep writing...great to knw ipk connects u this creatively,whole hearted...waiting for the next update :-)

A.N.Jell_Zarina
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 2716
Join date : 2013-07-16

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-11-13, 07:49

indi52 wrote:
Aasudi wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:Indi .... Ami ER e Kaj korchilum back in 1996... Not married yet... Ek jon patient was admitted whose face was blown off by a home made bomb... He was still alive... Part of his face was still visible and I could see that he had a beard. Amar Bondhu ( porey tar shathe amar bie hoy) was sporting a bread at that time... The paralyzing fear that runs through your spine, whole body when you think you are going to lose your loved one... is unexplainable... I went through his wallet to see who he was... He wasn't my friend... Kintu ami tomakeo Boley Bujhatey parbo na shei feeling ... Somehow you are able to capture it in your writing.... U are something else.... 
BTW, Shilpa can help you hide post partially... Taholey Jokhon keo portey chabey tar comment korety hobey... Taholey Tumi shob reader der dekhtey pabey...Oboshsho tomar Ichchar upor... Na korleo kichu Ashe jae na.... I just love reading your posts over and over.
sabi! I also m back at that time with ur words...i was just 6-7 yrs old...dint even knw what is death then n i saw my brother fighting with that...kidney failure...he was hospitalized...i cant say what i felt then n still feel abt that...just i hate to go into hospitals even today...his body was swelled up 3-4 times his normal size...hell it is, the feeling...today also when i remember those days, it shatters me to no end...god's grace he is alive, with us betn us... but stil its extremely scary to think otherwise...still dnt knw why but i dnt even try to forget that...rather,reopen the album sometimes n his scary face haunts me down still today,where everythings is fine...feeling "without u" is pure hell...n surprisingly dnt want to  remove that frm life, what am i??

What indi wrote on prolouge is life...she writes exceptionally real...it happens nth times with nth families, nth beautiful persons...ipk is very close to my heart...it is arnav-anjali for me as much as arnav-khushi but still in last moments i was ready to see arnav die?? Was nt i contradicting myself?? What kills me to even think wat happened with me n i was ready to witness same for anjali/khushi/me again?? I myself m amazed at my selfishness...with arnav's death i wanted to feel another one hell to trust he wont ever be alive in my life as he used to,filling my days with his presence...was it?? I dnt knw...i dnt really knw the other(except barun) angle fully...its mild, its contradicting, no conclusion...just was ready to see him give a lifeless life to khushi/anjali/me to learn to live without him...
beautifully felt that last bit...

for me too it was a story of chhotey and di as much as about arnav ji and khushi and asr and indi. it was funnily about nani and chhotey too. sometimes he was my brother, sometimes my heart throb, sometimes a beautiful dream, and at times he was me.

my chhotey finally left me the year i turned 50. the same year i noticed barun in a ridiculous serial... soon after came bhph, he seemed cute, but then came asr and made him undeniable. i will never forget he wore red on a special day and their telepathic conversation happened on yet another remarkable date. life is a crazy game...

all of us in our stories. like these two.
Huggs to all Indi, Sush... Group Hug  hope your brother lives happy and healthy for many many years, Sushma... Indi, dont know what it feels like to lose a sibling... siblings are such a strong part of one's identity... it changes all equations.

Yes, I wouldnt mind Barun dead in the serial as long as he came back as a ghost like that serial "ghost and mrs muir" ( was that the name?) no i wasnt ready to see the romance with Viraj Patel or whoever it was supposed to be...

Thank you for sharing your stories... that incidence in ER changed my life ( I realized I was in love with that young man the patient resembled and I wasnt cut out for ER :P )

Shesherkobita
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 6421
Join date : 2013-02-13
Location : Pennsylvania, USA

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-11-13, 07:55

indi52 wrote:
Aasudi wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:Indi .... Ami ER e Kaj korchilum back in 1996... Not married yet... Ek jon patient was admitted whose face was blown off by a home made bomb... He was still alive... Part of his face was still visible and I could see that he had a beard. Amar Bondhu ( porey tar shathe amar bie hoy) was sporting a bread at that time... The paralyzing fear that runs through your spine, whole body when you think you are going to lose your loved one... is unexplainable... I went through his wallet to see who he was... He wasn't my friend... Kintu ami tomakeo Boley Bujhatey parbo na shei feeling ... Somehow you are able to capture it in your writing.... U are something else.... 
BTW, Shilpa can help you hide post partially... Taholey Jokhon keo portey chabey tar comment korety hobey... Taholey Tumi shob reader der dekhtey pabey...Oboshsho tomar Ichchar upor... Na korleo kichu Ashe jae na.... I just love reading your posts over and over.
sabi! I also m back at that time with ur words...i was just 6-7 yrs old...dint even knw what is death then n i saw my brother fighting with that...kidney failure...he was hospitalized...i cant say what i felt then n still feel abt that...just i hate to go into hospitals even today...his body was swelled up 3-4 times his normal size...hell it is, the feeling...today also when i remember those days, it shatters me to no end...god's grace he is alive, with us betn us... but stil its extremely scary to think otherwise...still dnt knw why but i dnt even try to forget that...rather,reopen the album sometimes n his scary face haunts me down still today,where everythings is fine...feeling "without u" is pure hell...n surprisingly dnt want to  remove that frm life, what am i??

What indi wrote on prolouge is life...she writes exceptionally real...it happens nth times with nth families, nth beautiful persons...ipk is very close to my heart...it is arnav-anjali for me as much as arnav-khushi but still in last moments i was ready to see arnav die?? Was nt i contradicting myself?? What kills me to even think wat happened with me n i was ready to witness same for anjali/khushi/me again?? I myself m amazed at my selfishness...with arnav's death i wanted to feel another one hell to trust he wont ever be alive in my life as he used to,filling my days with his presence...was it?? I dnt knw...i dnt really knw the other(except barun) angle fully...its mild, its contradicting, no conclusion...just was ready to see him give a lifeless life to khushi/anjali/me to learn to live without him...
beautifully felt that last bit...

for me too it was a story of chhotey and di as much as about arnav ji and khushi and asr and indi. it was funnily about nani and chhotey too. sometimes he was my brother, sometimes my heart throb, sometimes a beautiful dream, and at times he was me.

my chhotey finally left me the year i turned 50. the same year i noticed barun in a ridiculous serial... soon after came bhph, he seemed cute, but then came asr and made him undeniable. i will never forget he wore red on a special day and their telepathic conversation happened on yet another remarkable date. life is a crazy game...

all of us in our stories. like these two.
sorry to hear abt ur chhotey,god bless...
Agree,every aspect of ipk connects us...v r emphatic with each n every aspect...same pinch in feeling asr...ipk is as real as living life n as subtle as breathing air...
Dates-coincidences-remarks-memory r the way thngs move forward when love is the subject...it happened with ipk-me too...remarkable thngs happened in remarkable dates...

A.N.Jell_Zarina
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 2716
Join date : 2013-07-16

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-11-13, 07:59

Chapter 1... so scary... 
whatever you write Indi... I can see it right before my eyes... Now that I have memorized every dialogue of IPK... i truly enjoy your writing more than the scenes ( except dewali and a few more)... As if you are really inside khushi's head. 

I always felt IPK was more about Arnav... but this writing of yours gives us more of Khushi's feelings.. how i wish the CVs did the same... Still Sanaya Irani made her come to life ... she held the fort during the kidnapping track...so all is forgiven ( atleast from my side)... 

Waiting for the next update. 

Sush, talked to shilpa and it seems it might be better to keep the FF in one thread... hope you dont mind...my lovely little sister.

Shesherkobita
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 6421
Join date : 2013-02-13
Location : Pennsylvania, USA

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by A.N.Jell_Zarina on 2013-11-13, 08:08

Shesherkobita wrote:
indi52 wrote:
Aasudi wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:Indi .... Ami ER e Kaj korchilum back in 1996... Not married yet... Ek jon patient was admitted whose face was blown off by a home made bomb... He was still alive... Part of his face was still visible and I could see that he had a beard. Amar Bondhu ( porey tar shathe amar bie hoy) was sporting a bread at that time... The paralyzing fear that runs through your spine, whole body when you think you are going to lose your loved one... is unexplainable... I went through his wallet to see who he was... He wasn't my friend... Kintu ami tomakeo Boley Bujhatey parbo na shei feeling ... Somehow you are able to capture it in your writing.... U are something else.... 
BTW, Shilpa can help you hide post partially... Taholey Jokhon keo portey chabey tar comment korety hobey... Taholey Tumi shob reader der dekhtey pabey...Oboshsho tomar Ichchar upor... Na korleo kichu Ashe jae na.... I just love reading your posts over and over.
sabi! I also m back at that time with ur words...i was just 6-7 yrs old...dint even knw what is death then n i saw my brother fighting with that...kidney failure...he was hospitalized...i cant say what i felt then n still feel abt that...just i hate to go into hospitals even today...his body was swelled up 3-4 times his normal size...hell it is, the feeling...today also when i remember those days, it shatters me to no end...god's grace he is alive, with us betn us... but stil its extremely scary to think otherwise...still dnt knw why but i dnt even try to forget that...rather,reopen the album sometimes n his scary face haunts me down still today,where everythings is fine...feeling "without u" is pure hell...n surprisingly dnt want to  remove that frm life, what am i??

What indi wrote on prolouge is life...she writes exceptionally real...it happens nth times with nth families, nth beautiful persons...ipk is very close to my heart...it is arnav-anjali for me as much as arnav-khushi but still in last moments i was ready to see arnav die?? Was nt i contradicting myself?? What kills me to even think wat happened with me n i was ready to witness same for anjali/khushi/me again?? I myself m amazed at my selfishness...with arnav's death i wanted to feel another one hell to trust he wont ever be alive in my life as he used to,filling my days with his presence...was it?? I dnt knw...i dnt really knw the other(except barun) angle fully...its mild, its contradicting, no conclusion...just was ready to see him give a lifeless life to khushi/anjali/me to learn to live without him...
beautifully felt that last bit...

for me too it was a story of chhotey and di as much as about arnav ji and khushi and asr and indi. it was funnily about nani and chhotey too. sometimes he was my brother, sometimes my heart throb, sometimes a beautiful dream, and at times he was me.

my chhotey finally left me the year i turned 50. the same year i noticed barun in a ridiculous serial... soon after came bhph, he seemed cute, but then came asr and made him undeniable. i will never forget he wore red on a special day and their telepathic conversation happened on yet another remarkable date. life is a crazy game...

all of us in our stories. like these two.
Huggs to all Indi, Sush... Group Hug  hope your brother lives happy and healthy for many many years, Sushma... Indi, dont know what it feels like to lose a sibling... siblings are such a strong part of one's identity... it changes all equations.

Yes, I wouldnt mind Barun dead in the serial as long as he came back as a ghost like that serial "ghost and mrs muir" ( was that the name?) no i wasnt ready to see the romance with Viraj Patel or whoever it was supposed to be...

Thank you for sharing your stories... that incidence in ER changed my life ( I realized I was in love with that young man the patient resembled and I wasnt cut out for ER :P )
sabi hugs...losing sibling u lose a life, a part of u...god bless his soul and ur family indi...
Sabi, viraf's face stil scares me to thnk otherwise...
Its great to knw abt u n ER...god bless ur lovelife n whole life...
If its easy in one thread,then there is nothng to mind(cuz i dnt hv ny of that ;-)) my lovely sister...agree with u what u said abt sanaya n khushi, i m also at forgiving ipk's useless makers in 2nd innings ;-) hehe

A.N.Jell_Zarina
Dazzling Diamond

Posts : 2716
Join date : 2013-07-16

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by archie_79 on 2013-11-13, 14:58

Shesherkobita wrote:Chapter 1... so scary... 
whatever you write Indi... I can see it right before my eyes... Now that I have memorized every dialogue of IPK... i truly enjoy your writing more than the scenes ( except dewali and a few more)... As if you are really inside khushi's head. 

I always felt IPK was more about Arnav... but this writing of yours gives us more of Khushi's feelings.. how i wish the CVs did the same... Still Sanaya Irani made her come to life ... she held the fort during the kidnapping track...so all is forgiven ( atleast from my side)... 

Waiting for the next update. 

Sush, talked to shilpa and it seems it might be better to keep the FF in one thread... hope you dont mind...my lovely little sister.
@ Sush, I thought its better to keep all chapters in a single thread & indi can keep updating the links in her main post & update her header too along with it, so that members can understand when she updates.

@ indi, I saw Vi helping u out with the hidden chapters thing, if u need more help, just drop in a PM to me :)

archie_79
Video Updater
Video Updater

Posts : 10356
Join date : 2013-02-04
Location : Bangalore

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by indi52 on 2013-11-13, 21:04

Shesherkobita wrote:Chapter 1... so scary... 
whatever you write Indi... I can see it right before my eyes... Now that I have memorized every dialogue of IPK... i truly enjoy your writing more than the scenes ( except dewali and a few more)... As if you are really inside khushi's head. 

I always felt IPK was more about Arnav... but this writing of yours gives us more of Khushi's feelings.. how i wish the CVs did the same... Still Sanaya Irani made her come to life ... she held the fort during the kidnapping track...so all is forgiven ( atleast from my side)... 

Waiting for the next update. 

Sush, talked to shilpa and it seems it might be better to keep the FF in one thread... hope you dont mind...my lovely little sister.
thanks so much, sabi...

ah khushi. she's been on our minds on another thread. while i am obsessed with asr :)  i am always  abit in love with khushi, the one i met way back in her mojri and teda choti, the one i thought was bizarre and ridiculous and alos too thin, till i fell for her character. then suddenly her look seemed cool and brave... ah ah. tanks for saying there's khushi here. one of the saddest things the writers did was not realise her importance i  giving the story meaning and depth... too busy making her into an unreal achhi something and treating her like little device that can be changed at will to take the story to a point, to reveal asr, or whatever. i hope i am fair to her in my story... what's a love story without a girl to love.

indi52
Bronzie
Bronzie

Posts : 151
Join date : 2013-10-04

Back to top Go down

Re: arhi ff: without you... chapter 22, page 30, updated 29/4

Post by Sponsored content Today at 17:48


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 2 of 9 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum