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Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

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Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 14:15


I suppose my post is a bit late as we have been rid of the Venomous Ton-a-Saur aka Benazir for a while now. But on sane  and calm reflection, I am forced to admit that the resident Vishkanya had her uses…


  • She rendered already stupid males even stupider.





  • To be sure they are not very bright most of the times, but unleash a Benazir in their vicinity they are rendered absolutely slack-jawed. It is not at all their fault. The Lord God intended that they are driven by their own sex-drive.

  • She was the only female who successfully addled even sharp-witted Maham’s attics. I don’t count Jodha. Maham was fooled when it came to the latter. Poor Maham was used to dealing with only normal females, you see; and Jodha is nowhere near normal. Coming to Benazir’s fooling Maham… the former was wily enough to let on that Maham and herself were on the same side; while all the time she was plotting in her own way. Result… Maham gloating and dancing with sexy resham and sniffing flowers in her balcony on full moon nights… and she a widow dressed in white garbs… damn! She really looked like a young bride, in the throes of her first ever love!

  • The mere whiff of old Ben’s presence is enough to send an already whacky Sharif-ud-din or Cheap-ud-din as some of my eminent fellow post makers have named him… go rave-ranting mad!



             Strangely, the Vishkanya doesn’t seem to affect him directly. She is able to fan the flames of his unhealthy pre-occupation with Jodha to unprecedented levels!

  • She changes mooning Jalal to angry Jalal… both emotions were, unfortunately for Benazir, NOT directed towards herself; but towards a supremely discomfited Jodha. Much to the Ton-a-Saur’s displeasure.



Then again, the over-emphasised inherent aphrodisiac effect of the Vishkanya’s pheromones are reserved for men in the lower rungs… mere soldiers and other lesser mortals. The men higher up seem to behave normally-



  • Jalal

  • Atga Khan

  • Mirza Hakim

  • The Amer Royal Men

  • And wonder of wonders, even the normally over-lecherous Adham Khan looked indifferently dismissive of her so called potent charms… now THAT was strange!

  • Also, her ability to attract flies into her parlour seemed to wane with the progression of the show! Did Ekta Maiyya run out of her supply of snakes? My! Too bad!



In addition…


  • She is the resident pest control officer… she can get rid of toy snakes (made obviously of some kind of rubbery or plastic substance) by getting them to bite her. The only place they can bite her on and get away with their life intact is on her tongue! And if they bite her anywhere else on her skin, they are dispatched pronto to meet their maker!

  • Family planning officer… a few minute spent in a fresh water well… lo behold! Sure shot way to control a burgeoning population!



Then we must think about one of the rarest talents of Vishkanyas… their ability to change coulours… not of themselves… but those surrounding them…


  • She turns red-blooded soldier blue.




  • She turns green apple even greener.

  • She turns red apple green.

  • She turns formerly normal complexioned Jodha green with jealousy.





  • Then she turns green Jodha blue!




Truth be told… she achieved what most people failed to do… get Jodha to stop speaking for a considerable span of time. True, Benazir had to render Jodha unconscious to achieve the feat… but hey! You got to give the girl a pat on her back for that! Even then, Jodha, the true Rajvanshi refused to go down without a fight! She insisted on a few last words… “humein koi pashchatap nahi… humne upna kartavya nibhaya!” Holy Cow! How does she do it! If it was me, I’d definitely be worrying about a number of things when faced with death… my will, my sins, my report card when faced with my maker… I am sure I’ll be too terrified to even think, let alone speak! Jai ho, Jodha Begum! Jai Ho! Aap jaisa koi nahi!

But does this defeat the Moghuls? No freaking way! They get back at her!

Ruqaiyya trounced her royally! She had her soldiers drop her into the very well she poisoned! What a hilarious scene! At least yours truly really thought it was funny! Those puny soldiers dropping a royally garnished Ton-a-Saur into a poisoned well… what did they hope to achieve? Further seasoning of potent Vishkanya by leaving her to marinate all trussed up in venomous waters… later to be filled with soil? Ooh! “Sun-baked Venomous Ton-of-Bricks”! What the????

But of all the antics the Moghuls could get up to… this one took the cake!


Their attempt to prepare “Shaahi Blue Rajvanshi Bhashan Roast”, garnished with yellow… well, never mind! I refuse to even LOOK at the Dish! Even though they took care to cook it on even heat from all sides...

The only explanation I could come up with was that The Respected Hakim Sahiba, Chief Quack, Department of Mughlai Idiotic Remedies, was a chef in her last birth.


Faced with an obviously mentally disturbed Shehensha, post the Blue-ification of Jodha, she lost her marbles and got confused between her two callings… that of her previous birth and the present one!


Last edited by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 23:20; edited 1 time in total

sonshine487
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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by Maria J on 2014-02-08, 15:16

Loved reading u Appu..  Thumbsup 

Adham Khan was totally into his mission of killing Jalal and was using Ben as his mohra so maybe he was not attracted to her..

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by Tanthya on 2014-02-08, 15:23

Its like this, keep  a phroot covered, temptation happens but when u display all your wares ..interest nose dives..which is what happened with Adham ji... he had his fill  n there was nothing to discover

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 15:29

Thanks Maria
@Tanths- huh Adham had his fill?
Or he thought he did?
And if indeed he THOUGHT that, wonder who taught him about the birds and bees?

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by Tanthya on 2014-02-08, 15:51

sonshine487 wrote:Thanks Maria
@Tanths- huh Adham had his fill?
Or he thought he did?
And if indeed he THOUGHT that, wonder who taught him about the birds and bees?


Since the display was public, He had his fill, gauged the product , decided ..not the kind of phrooot he prefers and opted out Samjhe !! :P  :P

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sandhya on 2014-02-08, 18:01

Lovely fun post shalini

May I add Ben can turn Jo green even after she is gone. Now that is a true after-effect

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by Jiggy on 2014-02-08, 18:25

'Shaahi Blue Rajvanshi Bhashan Roast'......
bwaahahahahahahaha....... :*lol*:  :*lol*: 
awesome

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by suchee on 2014-02-08, 19:47

Nice nice...... Very nice.......
The post was tasty , yummy n delish.....
Btw, sonshine, wats ur name ?? Shalini or appu ???

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 23:09

Tanthya wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:Thanks Maria
@Tanths- huh Adham had his fill?
Or he thought he did?
And if indeed he THOUGHT that, wonder who taught him about the birds and bees?


Since the display was public, He had his fill, gauged the product , decided ..not the kind of phrooot he prefers and opted out Samjhe !! :P  :P

 :lol!: 
good for him
he always had a penchant for things he couldn't have... probably thought Benazir was easy picking!

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 23:13

sandhya wrote:Lovely fun post shalini

May I add Ben can turn Jo green even after she is gone. Now that is a true after-effect

I prefer the girl green... much better that way
 :lol!:   meoow 
imagine... if Jodha had insisted on keeping the vishkanya as a pet...
"nirdosh praaniyon ki hatya paap hai!"

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 23:14

Jiggy wrote:'Shaahi Blue Rajvanshi Bhashan Roast'......
bwaahahahahahahaha....... :*lol*:  :*lol*: 
awesome

 Twisted Evil 
Hugss!!!
and Thanks!

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 23:16

suchee wrote:Nice nice...... Very nice.......
The post was tasty , yummy n delish.....
Btw, sonshine, wats ur name ?? Shalini or appu ???
Appu it is...
 :sunny:  :sunny:  :sunny: 
and thanks!

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by Tanthya on 2014-02-08, 23:21

sonshine487 wrote:
Tanthya wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:Thanks Maria
@Tanths- huh Adham had his fill?
Or he thought he did?
And if indeed he THOUGHT that, wonder who taught him about the birds and bees?


Since the display was public, He had his fill, gauged the product , decided ..not the kind of phrooot he prefers and opted out Samjhe !! :P  :P

 :lol!: 
good for him
he always had a penchant for things he couldn't have... probably thought Benazir was easy picking!


There You go, U finally figured out my poor Adhamwa ka Dimag .. :P  :P  :P

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by Tanthya on 2014-02-08, 23:22

sonshine487 wrote:
sandhya wrote:Lovely fun post shalini

May I add Ben can turn Jo green even after she is gone. Now that is a true after-effect

I prefer the girl green... much better that way
 :lol!:   meoow 
imagine... if Jodha had insisted on keeping the vishkanya as a pet...
"nirdosh praaniyon ki hatya paap hai!"


What would she have fed it??

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 23:32

Tanthya wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
sandhya wrote:Lovely fun post shalini

May I add Ben can turn Jo green even after she is gone. Now that is a true after-effect

I prefer the girl green... much better that way
 :lol!:   meoow 
imagine... if Jodha had insisted on keeping the vishkanya as a pet...
"nirdosh praaniyon ki hatya paap hai!"


What would she have fed it??

Maham for breakfast
Ruqaiyya for dinner

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by Tanthya on 2014-02-08, 23:34

sonshine487 wrote:
Tanthya wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
sandhya wrote:Lovely fun post shalini

May I add Ben can turn Jo green even after she is gone. Now that is a true after-effect

I prefer the girl green... much better that way
 :lol!:   meoow 
imagine... if Jodha had insisted on keeping the vishkanya as a pet...
"nirdosh praaniyon ki hatya paap hai!"


What would she have fed it??

Maham for breakfast
Ruqaiyya for dinner


Lunch n Snacks ??

Tanthya
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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-02-08, 23:36

Tanthya wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
Tanthya wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:

I prefer the girl green... much better that way
 :lol!:   meoow 
imagine... if Jodha had insisted on keeping the vishkanya as a pet...
"nirdosh praaniyon ki hatya paap hai!"


What would she have fed it??

Maham for breakfast
Ruqaiyya for dinner


Lunch n Snacks ??

Adham for lunch?
as for snacks... u think she is that fond of female reptilian?

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Re: Absurdities and the Hues of Venom

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