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Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

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Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by rock&roll on 2014-05-16, 09:25

Have been a bit busy for some time...This ,however,gave me the good fortune of watching 3 episodes at a stretch after which I laughed nonstop for 3 hours at a stretch.....so today,instead of  a Take 5 I am doing a parosy on the last 3 episodes..I haven't yet watched Thursday's epic..oops sorry..I mean episode...will come back with that later hpee 





The exit Strategy:
Bharmal has made preparations for Jodha’s exit within 2 minutes of her statement….faster than the US army would respond to a national emergency… Shocked ….See,Indians yahan bhi kitne advanced the……At the gate the  entire Ameri parivar begs  Jodha with folded hands to leave …..”Plz ..jo,jao na..crying hugging sab ho gaya……now we need a break…ab jaake shehenshha to tang karo”  Bang Finally Jo sits in the palanquin..As the palanquin is leaving she peeps out and Dadisa ‘s heart skips a beat, ”Nooooo…..Ambe maa,is she going to jump out again..If she does,mere pran yahi le lo….I’d rather rot in hell than  listen to “Jodha’s jumbo junkies again”…. Rolling Eyes ”…..Ambe Maa takes pity on Dadisa and  gets Jo stuck the palki..Jo is left peeping at Dadisa but unable to jump out..Thank Ambe Maa for small mercies…



Mera Piya ghar aaya O ramji:
Jallu completely loses his sense of balance on hearing about Jo’s arrival… bounce  bounce  bounce …He wants to do  a welcome dance for Jodha by dancing to “mera piya ghar aaya o ramji”   and has even got all the costumes ready……but thankfully todarmal stops him……Jallu then calls all his khas ppl for allocation of work


Jallu to Atgah:




Jallu  Send two soldiers to find out the exact longitude and latitude of Jo begum…ask them to inform me of her status every two minutes...........


Atgah:But shehenshah…yeh kaise ho sakta hai?It will take them 2 hours to get here from there ..how will they inform u every two minutes?


Jallu I don’t care….think u idiot.. …..Ask two soldiers to  leave agra every two minutes….that way they will form a chain…..and give real time updates…


 Atgah(thinking and furiously trying some calculations) :two soldiers every two minutes..matlab kitne soldiers chahiye honge...physics mein padha tha  ki speed = distance x time...but yahan to stupidity of shehenshah has multipled with distance and time.oh god...is paagal Shehenshah se mujhe bachao...plz Abul Mali se Agra pe hamla karwao..Allah..plz No  No  No 




Mansingh is secretly laughing at Atgah's predicament..."Bola tha maine...is paagal ka zyada help mat karoo.tumko bhi le doobega... Twisted Evil  Twisted Evil 




Jallu to Mansingh: Mansingh,next ..ur turn:.




Mansingh: "Whaaaa……maine kya kiya…main to durbar mein bhi chup chaap baitha rehta hoon..why me???"
 
Jallu C’mon Mansingh, Be a man…..Go  meet the Jodha begum halfway and bring her here…If u manage to actually bring her here without getting shouted at by her even once, I’ll give u a double promotion..U can sit in a chair that is 2 cm higher and 3 cm wider …… bounce  bounce 




Mansingh:  Oh god….I shld listen to buasa’s bhaashaans all alone….Shehenshah shaadi aapne ki hai..side effects bhi aapko milne chaiye Evil or Very Mad  Evil or Very Mad ………….mujhe kyon beech mein la raho ho….




Jallu to Shareefu: 


Jallu  Go and decorate the palace…..


Shareefu: Main..aur decorate..mujhe to sirf Abul Mali ko decorate karna aata hai……


Jallu:Koi baat nahin..the audience loved the innovative hairstyle of Abul Mali..aise hi palace ko bhi decorate karo cheers  cheers 
Shareefu:Par itne saare brooms itne short notice mein kahan se laaon... scratch  scratch  scratch 
Jallu To Todarmal 
Jallu: Todarmalji, Aap plz saare idiots ko supervise kijiye
TM(thinking) :  Does that include you too? 






Mummy Mummy…I am happy happy


Jallu..: ammi jaan ko batata hoon……
Mummy mummy Jodha begum coming home....  
Gud beta..ab hum dono milke tumhe daantenge aur maaregne..bahut mazaa aayega…  Party1 :


Jallu to SB…”aap ke immediate demotion ho jaata hai..i don’t need your 25 paise ka advice anymore..Jo wil give me 1 paise ka advice and free taanas from now on….”


SB:So what do I do shehenshah


Jallu:You become the official room decorator of Agra..go clean and  decorate all the rooms  NOW


HB:And u also become Agra’s official pincher..whenever I start dreaming with my eyes open,hume chutki kaato….


SB:How am I supposed to know when u r dreaming? u dream most of the time. Twisted Evil  Twisted Evil .safe side har  5 seconds isko chutki kaat dete hain Evil or Very Mad  Evil or Very Mad  Evil or Very Mad 


Khabar din bhar


Soldier to Jalal:Jodha  begum is drinking water near Agra..
What..gr8 news..take my ring




Soldier to Jalal:Jodha begum has eaten  1 piece of roti
 
Wow…..brilliant take my chain
 
Soldier to Jalal:Jodha begum is chewing the roti
Devi Maa..mere khuda..aI am blessed ..Jodha begum is chewing rotis just 5 miles from Agra..agra is blessed now..I will make  a temple at that spot where Jodha begum sat and ate rotis…work will start there tomorrow….




Soldier to Jalal:Jodha begum is shouting at Mansingh
Oh wow..lucky fellow….tomorrow onwards,she wil start yelling at me also….


But Tonight I’ll somehow manage…what do I do…heen skype pe baat karte hain
Jodha and Jall start singing ”In aankhon mein tum over skype”
 
 
Pooja with a purpose
 
Jalal has decorated Jo’s room …Jodha deviji…aayiye plz…hum dhany ho gaye…yahan humne panditji ko bulaya hai.he will do Jodha sthapan..plz sit there in that place….I will do ur pooja and aarti and then maafi mangofy from you by falling at your feet…..


“Om jodhaya namaha” “Om jodhaya namaha”
“Om jodhaya namaha”


Shehenshah ab aap inse maafi maang sakte hain…..oh really..I am so blessed. bounce  bounce  bounce .i can fall at her feet now..Thank you thank you..maine kya punya kiya tha jo mujhe yeh sadbhagya mila…..Jodha deviji….I have stolen a chabuk from that chabuk wala who was whipping ppl for teerth tax….aap us chaabuk se mujhe 1,000 times maariye..then I’ll do 10,000 sit ups…and walk barefoot round the Jodha temple with a pot of water on my head  and ur moorthy in my hand 50,000 times   and chant 1,000 names of Jodha begum 1,000 times everyday..Only then  I can atone for my sins…..


Jodha: How about shouting  Jodha begum zindabad 100 times every morning  and standing on your head for 1 hour daily...and also  for 2 hours in the night u should do "murga bano" outside my hojra...




Jallu:Sure,anything u say..hum murga bhi banenge...Bandar bhi banenge,Ullu bhi banenge ...anything deviji...  meoow  meoow 




Jodha:Ullu to maine tumhe bana diya    Bang bandar to tum ho hi...so shut up.. Evil or Very Mad .zyada bolne ki zaroorat nahin.. filhaal sirf murga bano...Phir jab hume  tandoori chicken khaane ka man hoga to tandoor mein jump kar dena nty  nty 




Jalal:Okie dokie


Last edited by rock&roll on 2014-05-16, 10:10; edited 2 times in total

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by --sumana13-- on 2014-05-16, 09:35

Rock & Roll  .. You ROCK .. This is hilarious stuff .. Hugs for adding so much laughter into my morning ..


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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by rock&roll on 2014-05-16, 10:11

--sumana13-- wrote:Rock & Roll  .. You ROCK .. This is hilarious stuff .. Hugs for adding so much laughter into my morning ..



Thank you dear..Glad u liked it  hpee and those pics are truly  amazing  long hug

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by Sanchu on 2014-05-16, 10:11

just awesome yaar............u know wat i also laugh during watching jj...... hppy  hppy  hppy  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL 
such a comedy story it is...............just love ur article yaar........ luv  luv  luv

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by Tanthya on 2014-05-16, 14:38

hppy  hppy  hppy  hppy

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by prassu14 on 2014-05-16, 15:46

awesome  hpee  flower

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by candy on 2014-05-16, 17:02

Rock and roll... Superb .. Too hilarious take.. ROFL ROFL ROFL

Khabar din par hppy hppy

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by harrybird on 2014-05-17, 10:41

Anita,

Today we understood the rationale behind your name rock & roll...... you simply rocked & we are rolling on the floor laughing! 
 ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL ........
Comedy nights with JA! very apt title!
This is definitely in the top 3 of your fun takes....
How on earth you are able to do it time and again! Every time, I think this is the best...you surprise me with another one surpassing the previous ...you raise the bar everytime!!! (just like Rajat) hpee 
Anita, all I can say is that, 
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LAUGH THERAPY!   
Thumbsup  Thumbsup  Thumbsup  Thumbsup  Thumbsup  Thumbsup 

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by --sumana13-- on 2014-05-17, 11:48

I agree with Harry bird ..Anita you ROCK and we are ROLLING with laughter


we want more from you 


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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by Nanayaa623 on 2014-05-17, 19:44

--sumana13-- wrote:I agree with Harry bird ..Anita you ROCK and we are ROLLING with laughter


we want more from you 

Anita, I second the above.  My room mate is asking me if am all right.
 ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

Post by harrybird on 2014-05-17, 20:54

Nanayaa623 wrote:
--sumana13-- wrote:I agree with Harry bird ..Anita you ROCK and we are ROLLING with laughter


we want more from you 

Anita, I second the above.  My room mate is asking me if am all right.
 ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL  ROFL
Nanayaa,

your signature is pretty & 
your Dp is damn cute...Loved it!
 hpee

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Re: Comedy nights with Jodha Akbar

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