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Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

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Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-07, 21:23

I have been cut off a bit lately… merely because I had nothing of importance to say… and that a huge failing of mine… I keep quiet if there is nothing to say. So why this post now… because I have been handed some food for thought- in YHM, which I have been following; in Raman Kumar Bhalla, to precise.

The show has been based rather loosely on Manju Kapur’s “Custody”. Of course we won’t be treated to an absolute version of the book. Ekta, after all, specializes in the wondrous rather than the realistic. Whereas in the book, Raman and Ishu end up with Ruhi, Adi remains with Ashok and Shagun. But Ekta cannot air that to a largely conventional, tradition-loving, patriarchal, Indian audience, can she? She needs to satisfy varied but at the same time, a curiously bland appetite, which shies away from the unconventional, however realistic, it may be.

So we have here a broken family- that of Shagun and Raman and their two unfortunate children.  A bespectacled and simpleton Raman is found lacking by a beautiful and worldly Shagun. Infatuated by Ashok, his glamour and life-style, blinded by greed for his money, Shagun leaves the security of marriage for a live-in relationship with her boy-friend, taking her first-born, Adi, with her. She leaves Raman shattered holding a six-month old Ruhi to his chest.

Now we have several questions here…


  • Was Shagun right? Multitude of Indians will come out in protest… of course she is wrong. She insulted her marriage vows… she pledged her troth to Raman… promised to stand by him through thick and thin. It is not as if Raman did not provide for her. She was in no difficulties… though not Rich, Raman definitely did not keep her in abject poverty. But I say, Why not? She wanted a more luxurious and jet set life… so she opted out. Her choice! It is her life, after all!

  • So, is she totally right? Again, that is a matter of perspective. She definitely had the guts to chuck convention out the window and follow her dreams. I personally would have set out to achieve my dreams on my own sweat; Shagun took a short-cut. She latched on to Ashok.

  • What about the kids? She took Adi with her but left Ruhi behind? Why? She is a mother… no matter how unnatural, she loves her kids… yes, both of them… but the problem is, she loves them in her own way, at her own convenience. Her motherly love dictated that she keep Adi, who was at least 5 or 6 years old at the time. He had outgrown nappies and bedwetting, frequent crying and disturbed sleep. He was old enough to be consigned to the care of nannies and servants. He would not be an encumbrance in her hassle-free and luxurious life. Ruhi on the other hand needed frequent care. She could be a hindrance in the halcyon honeymoon period of new love. Even when Ashok wasn’t in the picture, it was Mrs. Bhalla, the dragon woman with a heart of judicious gold, who looked after him. The same unfashionable granny, whom Adi now looks down his snooty nose at.

  • Then Ishita marries Raman, and completes their nest. She prevents Shagun from exercising her maternal rights over Ruhi, in the nick of time. As far as Shagun was concerned, it was time for a change in her life. And what perfect timing… Ruhi too was past the age of hands on maternal care. But she was thwarted here… because unlike Adi, she wasn’t able to poison Ruhi’s mind to suit herself.



 So what are the issues that are likely to be tackled here? Before we come to that, we need to be sure of one fact… this is an Indian show, which should make a primarily Indian audience feel good. That leads us to the following…


  • Indian Moral Get Up does not allow a woman to willfully leave her lawfully wedded husband and go unpunished.

  • Indian Soap Infra-structure does NOT allow a woman to abandon her kids with a clear conscience; to care about herself; to be selfish.

  • Indian cultural make up will deem such a woman as unnatural. She is neither worthy of her husband’s name, a standing in society, nor does she have any right to her children.

  • Then there is the whole huge question of the patriarchal system of inheritance. Adi is Raman’s flesh and blood. Adi should carry the Vansh forward. Here Adi hates Raman and has already assumed Ashok’s name… which is a huge “No No!” According to tradition and boring Indian psyche, a son is the be all and end all of one’s existence… or rather, the safety net for ones’ soul after one has ceased to exist.



So there are a lot of issues that Ekta has to tackle…

Shagun must be royally and comprehensively trounced. She must be reduced to DKK status… na ghar ka na ghaat ka… Not a Bhalla… not even half a Khanna. The show seems to be moving in that direction. Shagun fled wish Ashok, but she was never made a wife. Strange, it took till Ruhi was 5 years old till the divorce proceedings were finalized and the custody issues were sorted out. But even after Shagun was free to marry, she wasn’t needed enough to be married. Ashok still dilly-dallies when it comes to commitment. He is still attracted enough to keep her as his trophy girl-friend. Her role in his life is clearly demarcated--- a lovely show-piece- nothing else. And I think, Shagun is well aware of the shaky grounds on which she is standing at present. She was complacent enough when Raman was single. Despite his success, despite his altered circumstances, Shagun really believed that her power over Raman was infallible. She failed to read the writing on the wall. But once Ishita made her entry, Shagun wasn’t so sure anymore. Raman had always been Shagun’s back-up plan- her two kids were her sureties in just such a case. She would be accepted back; hell, she would just need to crook her little finger, and Raman would come running. Unfortunately for her Ruhi found her own mother. Unfortunately for her Raman married Ishita and seems to be finding happiness with her. Ruhi does not need her. Her only remaining weapons are Adi and Ashok’s jealousy. To give the vixen her due credit, her primary aim seems to be getting married to Ashok. Raman’s defection has hurt her vanity. And yes, she has lost her fall-back option. But if Ashok actually gives her the status of wife, she will be secure, which for a woman like Shagun translates to “happiness”.

She does not care what havoc she is causing in other lives, not even Adi’s. it is quite shameless the way she is using her own son thus. First she poisons Adi’s mind against Raman and the Bhallas. Now the same woman is encouraging Adi to trust his father. What a turnaround! There was a popular belief… treating poison with poison. Shagun was the reason Adi hates his father. Now the same Shagun is undoing her own handiwork.

This, I am sure is going to set the stage for Adi’s re-introduction into the Bhalla family. Adi will be more receptive towards Raman.

And Shagun will further weaken herself with regard to Ashok. Shagun and Adi are his weapons against Raman. A weak man, Ashok never had what it takes to put in grit and reap the rewards. He was not much for integrity or principles. Shallow and petty, his tactics of one-upmanship are juvenile; laughably so. Raman meteoric rise to success has not gone down well with him. His only consolation was his ownership of the two trophies that Raman covets- Adi and Shagun. Shagun has already lost her intrinsic value… Raman cares not for her. But Adi is another issue altogether. He is Raman’s life. And Adi will remain with Ashok only through Shagun. Once Adi is returned to Raman, Raman cannot be hurt/ controlled anymore. Shagun will be shown the door.

As for the present drama, Ekta knows what she is doing. Yes, there is a lot of repetition with regard to Adi and his theatrics. This is a seriously disturbed boy. And he has cause to be. For one he is from a broken family. For another, his involvement in this accident is a lot more than meets the eye. The child is frightened. And his mother is a selfish witch. The truth has to be brought out. Ashok has to be held responsible for the whole fiasco… he had no business gifting a child of that age a car. He had no business spoiling that poor child, just to suit his fancies. He didn’t care for the poor kid. Whatever he did, he did it solely because he knew Raman wouldn’t like it.

As for Ishita and Raman’s paused love-story- come on! There was no love story. They came together out of necessity. They couldn’t abide each other. But now they have come to an understanding. They value each other. But that does not mean they will get down to business any time soon. Expecting Raman to worship Ishita is folly. I love the way they have come along. His nasty one-liners, witticisms and her understanding of his underlining care beneath it all.

Sometimes, it is difficult for the people concerned to have an unblinkered view of things. Raman is not totally blind. He is aware of what he is doing. He regrets the hurt and injustice meted out to Ishita and her mother. But at the same time, he cannot ignore Adi’s needs. He is a father; a father who loves his son to pieces; who has been forcibly kept away from him.

Yes, Adi is a pest and a brat; but he is only 11 and sadly led astray. But he is not deserving of the horrible fate that awaits him if Ishita persists on going the way she is with the lawsuit. In her defense, she thinks it is Shagun.

Raman does not differentiate between Ruhi and Adi. Don’t forget the DNA test. He had decided that he didn’t want to know Ruhi’s paternity. As far as he was concerned, Ruhi was the daughter of his heart. Her first smile, first words, were all for him. But Adi is his first-born. Adi was snatched away from him. Raman yearns for Adi. Ruhi is there, Adi is not!

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by slmu on 2014-07-07, 21:31

nice Appuse. Will reply properly later

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by hooked on 2014-07-07, 21:43

Thanks for writing this Appu. Just jotting down my thoughts haphazardly on reading this..
You have really brought out the complexities in the ties of relationship that bind this bunch of characters.
When they began the show, it was widely written in the mags that the one thing that Manju Kapoor had requested from Ekta was that Shagun should not be turned into an all out vamp. Yes, she is selfish, yes she is materialistic, yes she is manipulative. But that's how she is. I do hope the show does not go down some moralising track aiming to punish Shagun. In fact the party scene where RKB dropped Shagun on the floor and then launched into a terrible lecture about good mother-wife-woman/bad mother-wife-woman was one that made me wince. It reeked of patriarchal moralising. It's futile to hope that an indian soap opera will miss such opportunities to take a moral high ground!
Also the way which people keep insulting her for not being a wife, as if that is the only identity worth having, must be quite souring for the urban audience who are the main viewers of this show!
Also, love the way in which you have talked about the children and Ishita and Raman's relationship is brilliant!!
Raman's obsession over Adi is just that! He has been denied the chance to have any kind of contact with Adi for years!! He had avoided coming close to Ruhi all these years too! But that was his choice! He could have met her when he wanted..but Adi was completely absent from his life.


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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-07, 22:06

hooked wrote:Thanks for writing this Appu. Just jotting down my thoughts haphazardly on reading this..
You have really brought out the complexities in the ties of relationship that bind this bunch of characters.
When they began the show, it was widely written in the mags that the one thing that Manju Kapoor had requested from Ekta was that Shagun should not be turned into an all out vamp. Yes, she is selfish, yes she is materialistic, yes she is manipulative. But that's how she is. I do hope the show does not go down some moralising track aiming to punish Shagun. In fact the party scene where RKB dropped Shagun on the floor and then launched into a terrible lecture about good mother-wife-woman/bad mother-wife-woman was one that made me wince. It reeked of patriarchal moralising. It's futile to hope that an indian soap opera will miss such opportunities to take a moral high ground!
Also the way which people keep insulting her for not being a wife, as if that is the only identity worth having, must be quite souring for the urban audience who are the main viewers of this show!
Also, love the way in which you have talked about the children and Ishita and Raman's relationship is brilliant!!
Raman's obsession over Adi is just that! He has been denied the chance to have any kind of contact with Adi for years!! He had avoided coming close to Ruhi all these years too! But that was his choice! He could have met her when he wanted..but Adi was completely absent from his life.


Hey Rikki!
Thanks for reading!
Strangely, Manju Kapur actually got Shagun married to Ashok... and they stay married
But yes, the vampification of Shagun is uncalled for!

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-07, 22:08

slmu wrote:nice Appuse. Will reply properly later

Take your time, PD!
Hugs for reading!
Love you!

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by zuzana on 2014-07-07, 22:11

Appuse me too will come tomorrow..now sleeping time  Bye 

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-07, 22:27

zuzana wrote:Appuse me too will come tomorrow..now sleeping time  Bye 

 long hug i'll be here in the evening!

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sarra0 on 2014-07-07, 22:35

ooh apps u have written for YHM...will b back to read u...

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by hooked on 2014-07-07, 22:48

sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:Thanks for writing this Appu. Just jotting down my thoughts haphazardly on reading this..
You have really brought out the complexities in the ties of relationship that bind this bunch of characters.
When they began the show, it was widely written in the mags that the one thing that Manju Kapoor had requested from Ekta was that Shagun should not be turned into an all out vamp. Yes, she is selfish, yes she is materialistic, yes she is manipulative. But that's how she is. I do hope the show does not go down some moralising track aiming to punish Shagun. In fact the party scene where RKB dropped Shagun on the floor and then launched into a terrible lecture about good mother-wife-woman/bad mother-wife-woman was one that made me wince. It reeked of patriarchal moralising. It's futile to hope that an indian soap opera will miss such opportunities to take a moral high ground!
Also the way which people keep insulting her for not being a wife, as if that is the only identity worth having, must be quite souring for the urban audience who are the main viewers of this show!
Also, love the way in which you have talked about the children and Ishita and Raman's relationship is brilliant!!
Raman's obsession over Adi is just that! He has been denied the chance to have any kind of contact with Adi for years!! He had avoided coming close to Ruhi all these years too! But that was his choice! He could have met her when he wanted..but Adi was completely absent from his life.


Hey Rikki!
Thanks for reading!
Strangely, Manju Kapur actually got Shagun married to Ashok... and they stay married
But yes, the vampification of Shagun is uncalled for!

I saw the novel on the shelf at our local bookstore the other day but didn't pick it up...thought i'll read it only once YHM is over.
I read somewhere though that in the novel Ashok really loves Shagun..I don't know why it's so difficult to show love between two selfish people on tv ...it would make an awesome story!!


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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by slmu on 2014-07-08, 12:03

Lovely post Appu

Liked how you have laid Shagun bare. I don't have a problem that she decided she wanted money more and left Raman. She left Ruhi behind - which is probably the kindest thing she's ever done. She's not cut out to be a mother that's for sure - many women aren't. She has warped Adi's brain and made him hate Raman... lots of parents from broken homes do that. The one thing I really dislike about her is that she is using her children as pawns in her own game to gain control over Raman.. she never considers even for a second the effect this will have on them. Ruhi escaped but Adi is trapped so far.

Ishra - they have progressed beautifully, but the trust that they have developed is now shaken. Going to be tough to regain it.

Raman being manipulated - I agree, he is aware of the hurt he is causing Ishita. But herein lies the problem.. why has he not thought beyond the moment? Why has he not considered that he is showing Adi the wrong thing? Proving to Adi that money makes the world go round? Its tough of course, but eventually in the long run Adi will be better off if he realizes that crimes cannot go unpunished.

Ashok and Shagun - like Sarra and I were discussing their world seems to revolve more around Raman than themselves. They don't really have any feelings as such for each other. They are using each other for their own ends.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by Maria J on 2014-07-08, 13:38

Lovely post Appu..

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 19:29

slmu wrote:Lovely post Appu

Liked how you have laid Shagun bare. I don't have a problem that she decided she wanted money more and left Raman. She left Ruhi behind - which is probably the kindest thing she's ever done. She's not cut out to be a mother that's for sure - many women aren't. She has warped Adi's brain and made him hate Raman... lots of parents from broken homes do that. The one thing I really dislike about her is that she is using her children as pawns in her own game to gain control over Raman.. she never considers even for a second the effect this will have on them. Ruhi escaped but Adi is trapped so far.

Ishra - they have progressed beautifully, but the trust that they have developed is now shaken. Going to be tough to regain it.

Raman being manipulated - I agree, he is aware of the hurt he is causing Ishita. But herein lies the problem.. why has he not thought beyond the moment? Why has he not considered that he is showing Adi the wrong thing? Proving to Adi that money makes the world go round? Its tough of course, but eventually in the long run Adi will be better off if he realizes that crimes cannot go unpunished.

Ashok and Shagun - like Sarra and I were discussing their world seems to revolve more around Raman than themselves. They don't really have any feelings as such for each other. They are using each other for their own ends.
HUGS, PD!!!

Regarding the trust issues between Ishra, I think, it has been shown pretty realistically here. At first, they were at each others throats. Bit by bit, they came to an understanding. Raman knows, Ishu is a kind-hearted and principled soul. Ishu knows Raman is dependable. But then again, Trust is acquired, not to be taken for granted. It takes time, loads of time. That dialogue by Ishu that she will trust Raman (when talking with Mihika) That is more her principles and idealism talking... that is NOT trust. Trust is something that comes from within without having to think about it... and I am not talking about the blind foolhardy type of trust. Trust comes after two individuals have succeded in knowing one another inside out. Raman and Ishu are newly married. They are still in that stage where they are both observing courtesies with each other. there is not yet that ease, that comfort, that comes from being together for years. So the question of trust is a moot one at this point of time... at least, that is what I think.

Raman's manipulation...  hppy 
come now, dear one! Raman here is not the ideal man. He is no "Perfect Purushottham". He is a father. And ordinary fathers protect their children. and frankly, I cannot fault him. Adi is suffering. he is scared shit. What is the point of driving the child out of his mind with fright. Disciplinary actions will come in once he is stable. Right now, Putting the child through even  more ordeal is not going to help. Adi needs to be brought into the security of Raman's love first... then his behavior should be corrected. Right now, Adi is pampered and spoilt; and suddenly he is having to face this nightmare. he has no inkling how to deal with it.
As I said before, Ishra are not yet 100% sure of each other. Raman at the moment is finding it difficult to trust Ishu with Adi. Because unlike Ruhi, Adi is not so dear to Ishu yet. Still he wanted to confide in Ishu. Many are annoyed with him for asking Shagun's permission. But I like him for extending his ex-wife that courtesy. Shagun is Adi's mother, and Raman was dignified enough to include her in all matters and decisions concerning Adi. Ruhi is another matter... Ishita has been granted custody of Ruhi legally.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 19:30

Maria J wrote:Lovely post Appu..
 long hug 
Thanks Maria

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 19:33

hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:Thanks for writing this Appu. Just jotting down my thoughts haphazardly on reading this..
You have really brought out the complexities in the ties of relationship that bind this bunch of characters.
When they began the show, it was widely written in the mags that the one thing that Manju Kapoor had requested from Ekta was that Shagun should not be turned into an all out vamp. Yes, she is selfish, yes she is materialistic, yes she is manipulative. But that's how she is. I do hope the show does not go down some moralising track aiming to punish Shagun. In fact the party scene where RKB dropped Shagun on the floor and then launched into a terrible lecture about good mother-wife-woman/bad mother-wife-woman was one that made me wince. It reeked of patriarchal moralising. It's futile to hope that an indian soap opera will miss such opportunities to take a moral high ground!
Also the way which people keep insulting her for not being a wife, as if that is the only identity worth having, must be quite souring for the urban audience who are the main viewers of this show!
Also, love the way in which you have talked about the children and Ishita and Raman's relationship is brilliant!!
Raman's obsession over Adi is just that! He has been denied the chance to have any kind of contact with Adi for years!! He had avoided coming close to Ruhi all these years too! But that was his choice! He could have met her when he wanted..but Adi was completely absent from his life.


Hey Rikki!
Thanks for reading!
Strangely, Manju Kapur actually got Shagun married to Ashok... and they stay married
But yes, the vampification of Shagun is uncalled for!

I saw the novel on the shelf at our local bookstore the other day but didn't pick it up...thought i'll read it only once YHM is over.
I read somewhere though that in the novel Ashok really loves Shagun..I don't know why it's so difficult to show love between two selfish people on tv ...it would make an awesome story!!


to tell you the truth, I did not like the novel.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by hooked on 2014-07-08, 19:36

sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:Thanks for writing this Appu. Just jotting down my thoughts haphazardly on reading this..
You have really brought out the complexities in the ties of relationship that bind this bunch of characters.
When they began the show, it was widely written in the mags that the one thing that Manju Kapoor had requested from Ekta was that Shagun should not be turned into an all out vamp. Yes, she is selfish, yes she is materialistic, yes she is manipulative. But that's how she is. I do hope the show does not go down some moralising track aiming to punish Shagun. In fact the party scene where RKB dropped Shagun on the floor and then launched into a terrible lecture about good mother-wife-woman/bad mother-wife-woman was one that made me wince. It reeked of patriarchal moralising. It's futile to hope that an indian soap opera will miss such opportunities to take a moral high ground!
Also the way which people keep insulting her for not being a wife, as if that is the only identity worth having, must be quite souring for the urban audience who are the main viewers of this show!
Also, love the way in which you have talked about the children and Ishita and Raman's relationship is brilliant!!
Raman's obsession over Adi is just that! He has been denied the chance to have any kind of contact with Adi for years!! He had avoided coming close to Ruhi all these years too! But that was his choice! He could have met her when he wanted..but Adi was completely absent from his life.


Hey Rikki!
Thanks for reading!
Strangely, Manju Kapur actually got Shagun married to Ashok... and they stay married
But yes, the vampification of Shagun is uncalled for!

I saw the novel on the shelf at our local bookstore the other day but didn't pick it up...thought i'll read it only once YHM is over.
I read somewhere though that in the novel Ashok really loves Shagun..I don't know why it's so difficult to show love between two selfish people on tv ...it would make an awesome story!!


to tell you the truth, I did not like the novel.
haha! Really? I had a vague suspicion that Ekta's version might be more palatable after going through a few of the book reviews.  Wink 

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 19:40

hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:

Hey Rikki!
Thanks for reading!
Strangely, Manju Kapur actually got Shagun married to Ashok... and they stay married
But yes, the vampification of Shagun is uncalled for!

I saw the novel on the shelf at our local bookstore the other day but didn't pick it up...thought i'll read it only once YHM is over.
I read somewhere though that in the novel Ashok really loves Shagun..I don't know why it's so difficult to show love between two selfish people on tv ...it would make an awesome story!!


to tell you the truth, I did not like the novel.
haha! Really? I had a vague suspicion that Ekta's version might be more palatable after going through a few of the book reviews.  Wink 

Ekta will come out with the idealized Indianised Version. However My pique was the language... There was something missing...
It couldn't hold me

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by hooked on 2014-07-08, 19:45

sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:

I saw the novel on the shelf at our local bookstore the other day but didn't pick it up...thought i'll read it only once YHM is over.
I read somewhere though that in the novel Ashok really loves Shagun..I don't know why it's so difficult to show love between two selfish people on tv ...it would make an awesome story!!


to tell you the truth, I did not like the novel.
haha! Really? I had a vague suspicion that Ekta's version might be more palatable after going through a few of the book reviews.  Wink 

Ekta will come out with the idealized Indianised Version. However My pique was the language... There was something missing...
It couldn't hold me
oh well! then that's something else all together...I think Ekta is presenting a more of a Mills and Boon version of the story...during the promos, she had said that she could have just changed the names of the characters since her story was going to be quite different from the novel...
Still wish YHM tried to do something different...unfortunately that is not going to happen.
It's ironic when one thinks of serials of the 60s, 70s on our national tv or even some of the shows that I myself grew up watching on star in the 90s...when the shows might have had very low production value but the directors weren't that afraid to deal with gritty issues...now it's all made based on the same formula..just with different packaging. Acting has improved, set designing has improved but the quality of the content has certainly suffered.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by slmu on 2014-07-08, 19:46

sonshine487 wrote:
slmu wrote:Lovely post Appu

Liked how you have laid Shagun bare. I don't have a problem that she decided she wanted money more and left Raman. She left Ruhi behind - which is probably the kindest thing she's ever done. She's not cut out to be a mother that's for sure - many women aren't. She has warped Adi's brain and made him hate Raman... lots of parents from broken homes do that. The one thing I really dislike about her is that she is using her children as pawns in her own game to gain control over Raman.. she never considers even for a second the effect this will have on them. Ruhi escaped but Adi is trapped so far.

Ishra - they have progressed beautifully, but the trust that they have developed is now shaken. Going to be tough to regain it.

Raman being manipulated - I agree, he is aware of the hurt he is causing Ishita. But herein lies the problem.. why has he not thought beyond the moment? Why has he not considered that he is showing Adi the wrong thing? Proving to Adi that money makes the world go round? Its tough of course, but eventually in the long run Adi will be better off if he realizes that crimes cannot go unpunished.

Ashok and Shagun - like Sarra and I were discussing their world seems to revolve more around Raman than themselves. They don't really have any feelings as such for each other. They are using each other for their own ends.
HUGS, PD!!!

Regarding the trust issues between Ishra, I think, it has been shown pretty realistically here. At first, they were at each others throats. Bit by bit, they came to an understanding. Raman knows, Ishu is a kind-hearted and principled soul. Ishu knows Raman is dependable. But then again, Trust is acquired, not to be taken for granted. It takes time, loads of time. That dialogue by Ishu that she will trust Raman (when talking with Mihika) That is more her principles and idealism talking... that is NOT trust. Trust is something that comes from within without having to think about it... and I am not talking about the blind foolhardy type of trust. Trust comes after two individuals have succeded in knowing one another inside out. Raman and Ishu are newly married. They are still in that stage where they are both observing courtesies with each other. there is not yet that ease, that comfort, that comes from being together for years. So the question of trust is a moot one at this point of time... at least, that is what I think.

Raman's manipulation...  hppy 
come now, dear one! Raman here is not the ideal man. He is no "Perfect Purushottham". He is a father. And ordinary fathers protect their children. and frankly, I cannot fault him. Adi is suffering. he is scared shit. What is the point of driving the child out of his mind with fright. Disciplinary actions will come in once he is stable. Right now, Putting the child through even  more ordeal is not going to help. Adi needs to be brought into the security of Raman's love first... then his behavior should be corrected. Right now, Adi is pampered and spoilt; and suddenly he is having to face this nightmare. he has no inkling how to deal with it.
As I said before, Ishra are not yet 100% sure of each other. Raman at the moment is finding it difficult to trust Ishu with Adi. Because unlike Ruhi, Adi is not so dear to Ishu yet. Still he wanted to confide in Ishu. Many are annoyed with him for asking Shagun's permission. But I like him for extending his ex-wife that courtesy. Shagun is Adi's mother, and Raman was dignified enough to include her in all matters and decisions concerning Adi. Ruhi is another matter... Ishita has been granted custody of Ruhi legally.

Well, the fragile trust or developing trust is always now shattered .. I don't think he did the right thing by not telling her. Also, regards asking Shagun.. its not courtesy in my book.. what Raman and Ishita talk about etc. is none of Shagun's business.. she has no right to say hide this from your wife in the first place. If Raman thought it right to hide it, he would. He got swayed by her argument that Ishu will not understand. He knows her better than Shagun does and the courtesy should have been extended to Ishu.

Yes Adi has no idea how to deal with something like this and is terrified. But what Raman is doing is showing him that's it ok to deal with the issue the wrong way

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 19:52

hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:

to tell you the truth, I did not like the novel.
haha! Really? I had a vague suspicion that Ekta's version might be more palatable after going through a few of the book reviews.  Wink 

Ekta will come out with the idealized Indianised Version. However My pique was the language... There was something missing...
It couldn't hold me
oh well! then that's something else all together...I think Ekta is presenting a more of a Mills and Boon version of the story...during the promos, she had said that she could have just changed the names of the characters since her story was going to be quite different from the novel...
Still wish YHM tried to do something different...unfortunately that is not going to happen.
It's ironic when one thinks of serials of the 60s, 70s on our national tv or even some of the shows that I myself grew up watching on star in the 90s...when the shows might have had very low production value but the directors weren't that afraid to deal with gritty issues...now it's all made based on the same formula..just with different packaging. Acting has improved, set designing has improved but the quality of the content has certainly suffered.

YHM IS different! At least, it is much palatable than the rest of the stuff.
The relationships are complex... the story too is OK...
And it has been handled well till now.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by hooked on 2014-07-08, 19:58

sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
haha! Really? I had a vague suspicion that Ekta's version might be more palatable after going through a few of the book reviews.  Wink 

Ekta will come out with the idealized Indianised Version. However My pique was the language... There was something missing...
It couldn't hold me
oh well! then that's something else all together...I think Ekta is presenting a more of a Mills and Boon version of the story...during the promos, she had said that she could have just changed the names of the characters since her story was going to be quite different from the novel...
Still wish YHM tried to do something different...unfortunately that is not going to happen.
It's ironic when one thinks of serials of the 60s, 70s on our national tv or even some of the shows that I myself grew up watching on star in the 90s...when the shows might have had very low production value but the directors weren't that afraid to deal with gritty issues...now it's all made based on the same formula..just with different packaging. Acting has improved, set designing has improved but the quality of the content has certainly suffered.

YHM IS different! At least, it is much palatable than the rest of the stuff.
The relationships are complex... the story too is OK...
And it has been handled well till now.
Yes, it is the most realistic show on telly right now...but if you think about it...there are these weird moments...For example, the lecture Raman gave to Shagun after their dance at Mihir's engagement party. Okay we can still think it's his anger at Shagun's betrayal speaking through him in that scene, which also makes him insult Shagun for not having an identity since she is still not married to Ashok. But then why should Ishita try to put Shagun down by pointing out that Shagun was not even a trophy wife but just a trophy..It's these moments of moralising that gets me down. Is it too much to ask for a story that avoids taking the moral high ground every single time it tries to deal with matters that might go against 'conventional indian morality' whatever that is.
But yes, I love YHM because it is the closest thing that comes to a show that is about the urban society that I am a part of.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 20:02

slmu wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
slmu wrote:Lovely post Appu

Liked how you have laid Shagun bare. I don't have a problem that she decided she wanted money more and left Raman. She left Ruhi behind - which is probably the kindest thing she's ever done. She's not cut out to be a mother that's for sure - many women aren't. She has warped Adi's brain and made him hate Raman... lots of parents from broken homes do that. The one thing I really dislike about her is that she is using her children as pawns in her own game to gain control over Raman.. she never considers even for a second the effect this will have on them. Ruhi escaped but Adi is trapped so far.

Ishra - they have progressed beautifully, but the trust that they have developed is now shaken. Going to be tough to regain it.

Raman being manipulated - I agree, he is aware of the hurt he is causing Ishita. But herein lies the problem.. why has he not thought beyond the moment? Why has he not considered that he is showing Adi the wrong thing? Proving to Adi that money makes the world go round? Its tough of course, but eventually in the long run Adi will be better off if he realizes that crimes cannot go unpunished.

Ashok and Shagun - like Sarra and I were discussing their world seems to revolve more around Raman than themselves. They don't really have any feelings as such for each other. They are using each other for their own ends.
HUGS, PD!!!

Regarding the trust issues between Ishra, I think, it has been shown pretty realistically here. At first, they were at each others throats. Bit by bit, they came to an understanding. Raman knows, Ishu is a kind-hearted and principled soul. Ishu knows Raman is dependable. But then again, Trust is acquired, not to be taken for granted. It takes time, loads of time. That dialogue by Ishu that she will trust Raman (when talking with Mihika) That is more her principles and idealism talking... that is NOT trust. Trust is something that comes from within without having to think about it... and I am not talking about the blind foolhardy type of trust. Trust comes after two individuals have succeded in knowing one another inside out. Raman and Ishu are newly married. They are still in that stage where they are both observing courtesies with each other. there is not yet that ease, that comfort, that comes from being together for years. So the question of trust is a moot one at this point of time... at least, that is what I think.

Raman's manipulation...  hppy 
come now, dear one! Raman here is not the ideal man. He is no "Perfect Purushottham". He is a father. And ordinary fathers protect their children. and frankly, I cannot fault him. Adi is suffering. he is scared shit. What is the point of driving the child out of his mind with fright. Disciplinary actions will come in once he is stable. Right now, Putting the child through even  more ordeal is not going to help. Adi needs to be brought into the security of Raman's love first... then his behavior should be corrected. Right now, Adi is pampered and spoilt; and suddenly he is having to face this nightmare. he has no inkling how to deal with it.
As I said before, Ishra are not yet 100% sure of each other. Raman at the moment is finding it difficult to trust Ishu with Adi. Because unlike Ruhi, Adi is not so dear to Ishu yet. Still he wanted to confide in Ishu. Many are annoyed with him for asking Shagun's permission. But I like him for extending his ex-wife that courtesy. Shagun is Adi's mother, and Raman was dignified enough to include her in all matters and decisions concerning Adi. Ruhi is another matter... Ishita has been granted custody of Ruhi legally.

Well, the fragile trust or developing trust is always now shattered .. I don't think he did the right thing by not telling her. Also, regards asking Shagun.. its not courtesy in my book.. what Raman and Ishita talk about etc. is none of Shagun's business.. she has no right to say hide this from your wife in the first place. If Raman thought it right to hide it, he would. He got swayed by her argument that Ishu will not understand. He knows her better than Shagun does and the courtesy should have been extended to Ishu.

Yes Adi has no idea how to deal with something like this and is terrified. But what Raman is doing is showing him that's it ok to deal with the issue the wrong way

No, the trust is NOT shattered. Ishu is more hurt about her Mum's case than being lied to. The "understanding" has taken a beating, though!

Shagun had no right doing a lot of things... did that stop her before?
Raman not confiding in Ishu wasn't right... I agree. when you consider that he is her husband, then ideally he should not have any secrets from her. But see... that is the beauty of this story. Raman is not just a husband. He is a father too... and no matter how much he would like to ignore it, he is tied to Shagun through Adi. Since Adi is attached so much to Shagun, Raman HAS to bow down and compromise for his son's sake. But this won't be always so. He first has to make Adi accept his father... only then can Raman work towards Including Ishu into this particular equation.
As for Raman not considering Ishu... that is also not true. Why do you think he suffers so much? because he is torn... between his wife, who he has begun to actually care for and respect... and his son, who he loves to death.

I don't think Adi yet is aware of what is being done to protect him. I said this before... Raman will deal with it once the whole issue is solved. Trust Ishu to come up with a fitting punishment! hppy 

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 20:09

hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:

Ekta will come out with the idealized Indianised Version. However My pique was the language... There was something missing...
It couldn't hold me
oh well! then that's something else all together...I think Ekta is presenting a more of a Mills and Boon version of the story...during the promos, she had said that she could have just changed the names of the characters since her story was going to be quite different from the novel...
Still wish YHM tried to do something different...unfortunately that is not going to happen.
It's ironic when one thinks of serials of the 60s, 70s on our national tv or even some of the shows that I myself grew up watching on star in the 90s...when the shows might have had very low production value but the directors weren't that afraid to deal with gritty issues...now it's all made based on the same formula..just with different packaging. Acting has improved, set designing has improved but the quality of the content has certainly suffered.

YHM IS different! At least, it is much palatable than the rest of the stuff.
The relationships are complex... the story too is OK...
And it has been handled well till now.
Yes, it is the most realistic show on telly right now...but if you think about it...there are these weird moments...For example, the lecture Raman gave to Shagun after their dance at Mihir's engagement party. Okay we can still think it's his anger at Shagun's betrayal speaking through him in that scene, which also makes him insult Shagun for not having an identity since she is still not married to Ashok. But then why should Ishita try to put Shagun down by pointing out that Shagun was not even a trophy wife but just a trophy..It's these moments of moralising that gets me down. Is it too much to ask for a story that avoids taking the moral high ground every single time it tries to deal with matters that might go against 'conventional indian morality' whatever that is.
But yes, I love YHM because it is the closest thing that comes to a show that is about the urban society that I am a part of.

 hppy Oh, That wasn't lecturing or moralizing from Raman and Ishita!
They were getting back at her. Don't forget, Shagun was the first one to go ahead into "Panga Lena" mode. Both Raman and Ishu weren't Mahan enough to let it go! They just gave it back, tit for tat.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by hooked on 2014-07-08, 20:12

sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
oh well! then that's something else all together...I think Ekta is presenting a more of a Mills and Boon version of the story...during the promos, she had said that she could have just changed the names of the characters since her story was going to be quite different from the novel...
Still wish YHM tried to do something different...unfortunately that is not going to happen.
It's ironic when one thinks of serials of the 60s, 70s on our national tv or even some of the shows that I myself grew up watching on star in the 90s...when the shows might have had very low production value but the directors weren't that afraid to deal with gritty issues...now it's all made based on the same formula..just with different packaging. Acting has improved, set designing has improved but the quality of the content has certainly suffered.

YHM IS different! At least, it is much palatable than the rest of the stuff.
The relationships are complex... the story too is OK...
And it has been handled well till now.
Yes, it is the most realistic show on telly right now...but if you think about it...there are these weird moments...For example, the lecture Raman gave to Shagun after their dance at Mihir's engagement party. Okay we can still think it's his anger at Shagun's betrayal speaking through him in that scene, which also makes him insult Shagun for not having an identity since she is still not married to Ashok. But then why should Ishita try to put Shagun down by pointing out that Shagun was not even a trophy wife but just a trophy..It's these moments of moralising that gets me down. Is it too much to ask for a story that avoids taking the moral high ground every single time it tries to deal with matters that might go against 'conventional indian morality' whatever that is.
But yes, I love YHM because it is the closest thing that comes to a show that is about the urban society that I am a part of.

 hppy Oh, That wasn't lecturing or moralizing from Raman and Ishita!
They were getting back at her. Don't forget, Shagun was the first one to go ahead into "Panga Lena" mode. Both Raman and Ishu weren't Mahan enough to let it go! They just gave it back, tit for tat.
but taking that particular line of argument...urgh...well, i suppose if you look at it that way then it's just them trying to do a bit of mud-slinging...but it's still irritating that Ishita, who is an educated girl (so, I'm assuming she's familiar with feminist thought) would consider it to be an insult if she points out that Shagun is in a live-in relationship with someone.

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by slmu on 2014-07-08, 20:17

sonshine487 wrote:
slmu wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
slmu wrote:Lovely post Appu

Liked how you have laid Shagun bare. I don't have a problem that she decided she wanted money more and left Raman. She left Ruhi behind - which is probably the kindest thing she's ever done. She's not cut out to be a mother that's for sure - many women aren't. She has warped Adi's brain and made him hate Raman... lots of parents from broken homes do that. The one thing I really dislike about her is that she is using her children as pawns in her own game to gain control over Raman.. she never considers even for a second the effect this will have on them. Ruhi escaped but Adi is trapped so far.

Ishra - they have progressed beautifully, but the trust that they have developed is now shaken. Going to be tough to regain it.

Raman being manipulated - I agree, he is aware of the hurt he is causing Ishita. But herein lies the problem.. why has he not thought beyond the moment? Why has he not considered that he is showing Adi the wrong thing? Proving to Adi that money makes the world go round? Its tough of course, but eventually in the long run Adi will be better off if he realizes that crimes cannot go unpunished.

Ashok and Shagun - like Sarra and I were discussing their world seems to revolve more around Raman than themselves. They don't really have any feelings as such for each other. They are using each other for their own ends.
HUGS, PD!!!

Regarding the trust issues between Ishra, I think, it has been shown pretty realistically here. At first, they were at each others throats. Bit by bit, they came to an understanding. Raman knows, Ishu is a kind-hearted and principled soul. Ishu knows Raman is dependable. But then again, Trust is acquired, not to be taken for granted. It takes time, loads of time. That dialogue by Ishu that she will trust Raman (when talking with Mihika) That is more her principles and idealism talking... that is NOT trust. Trust is something that comes from within without having to think about it... and I am not talking about the blind foolhardy type of trust. Trust comes after two individuals have succeded in knowing one another inside out. Raman and Ishu are newly married. They are still in that stage where they are both observing courtesies with each other. there is not yet that ease, that comfort, that comes from being together for years. So the question of trust is a moot one at this point of time... at least, that is what I think.

Raman's manipulation...  hppy 
come now, dear one! Raman here is not the ideal man. He is no "Perfect Purushottham". He is a father. And ordinary fathers protect their children. and frankly, I cannot fault him. Adi is suffering. he is scared shit. What is the point of driving the child out of his mind with fright. Disciplinary actions will come in once he is stable. Right now, Putting the child through even  more ordeal is not going to help. Adi needs to be brought into the security of Raman's love first... then his behavior should be corrected. Right now, Adi is pampered and spoilt; and suddenly he is having to face this nightmare. he has no inkling how to deal with it.
As I said before, Ishra are not yet 100% sure of each other. Raman at the moment is finding it difficult to trust Ishu with Adi. Because unlike Ruhi, Adi is not so dear to Ishu yet. Still he wanted to confide in Ishu. Many are annoyed with him for asking Shagun's permission. But I like him for extending his ex-wife that courtesy. Shagun is Adi's mother, and Raman was dignified enough to include her in all matters and decisions concerning Adi. Ruhi is another matter... Ishita has been granted custody of Ruhi legally.

Well, the fragile trust or developing trust is always now shattered .. I don't think he did the right thing by not telling her. Also, regards asking Shagun.. its not courtesy in my book.. what Raman and Ishita talk about etc. is none of Shagun's business.. she has no right to say hide this from your wife in the first place. If Raman thought it right to hide it, he would. He got swayed by her argument that Ishu will not understand. He knows her better than Shagun does and the courtesy should have been extended to Ishu.

Yes Adi has no idea how to deal with something like this and is terrified. But what Raman is doing is showing him that's it ok to deal with the issue the wrong way

No, the trust is NOT shattered. Ishu is more hurt about her Mum's case than being lied to. The "understanding" has taken a beating, though!

Shagun had no right doing a lot of things... did that stop her before?
Raman not confiding in Ishu wasn't right... I agree. when you consider that he is her husband, then ideally he should not have any secrets from her. But see... that is the beauty of this story. Raman is not just a husband. He is a father too... and no matter how much he would like to ignore it, he is tied to Shagun through Adi. Since Adi is attached so much to Shagun, Raman HAS to bow down and compromise for his son's sake. But this won't be always so. He first has to make Adi accept his father... only then can Raman work towards Including Ishu into this particular equation.
As for Raman not considering Ishu... that is also not true. Why do you think he suffers so much? because he is torn... between his wife, who he has begun to actually care for and respect... and his son, who he loves to death.

I don't think Adi yet is aware of what is being done to protect him. I said this before... Raman will deal with it once the whole issue is solved. Trust Ishu to come up with a fitting punishment! hppy 

Sure he is a dad too.. but here when there is a conflict in responsibilities.. he should be doing what is right. And Ishu's trust would also be boosted because in spite of being in such a position he is trusting her to help him out by telling her what's happening.

About Adi.. Raman is employing all sorts of illegal means to save Shagun (destroying camera footage, bribing policemen). After the dust settles, he turns around and tells Adi never do this, its wrong?

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

Post by sonshine487 on 2014-07-08, 20:26

hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:
hooked wrote:
sonshine487 wrote:

YHM IS different! At least, it is much palatable than the rest of the stuff.
The relationships are complex... the story too is OK...
And it has been handled well till now.
Yes, it is the most realistic show on telly right now...but if you think about it...there are these weird moments...For example, the lecture Raman gave to Shagun after their dance at Mihir's engagement party. Okay we can still think it's his anger at Shagun's betrayal speaking through him in that scene, which also makes him insult Shagun for not having an identity since she is still not married to Ashok. But then why should Ishita try to put Shagun down by pointing out that Shagun was not even a trophy wife but just a trophy..It's these moments of moralising that gets me down. Is it too much to ask for a story that avoids taking the moral high ground every single time it tries to deal with matters that might go against 'conventional indian morality' whatever that is.
But yes, I love YHM because it is the closest thing that comes to a show that is about the urban society that I am a part of.

 hppy Oh, That wasn't lecturing or moralizing from Raman and Ishita!
They were getting back at her. Don't forget, Shagun was the first one to go ahead into "Panga Lena" mode. Both Raman and Ishu weren't Mahan enough to let it go! They just gave it back, tit for tat.
but taking that particular line of argument...urgh...well, i suppose if you look at it that way then it's just them trying to do a bit of mud-slinging...but it's still irritating that Ishita, who is an educated girl (so, I'm assuming she's familiar with feminist thought) would consider it to be an insult if she points out that Shagun is in a live-in relationship with someone.

what has that got to do with education. Ishu is still traditional. I am educated... but I am not all in favour of live-in relationships
But I don't go sermonizing either

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Re: Ek Phool Mein Meri Jawaani Hai... Ek Chehra Meri Nishaani Hai...

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