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Movie review:Kick

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Movie review:Kick

Post by rock&roll on 2014-07-31, 13:30

Just got back from the movies  and am kicking myself for allowing my son to convince me to watch this movie.

Kick is Salman’s answer to Saif’s Humshakals. Now Humshakals will not have the dubious honour of being the worst comedy of 2014.Kick has come in kicking in full force,giving tough competition to Humshakals. Evil or Very Mad  Evil or Very Mad The biggest positive about ”Kick” is its title..It is a huge kick,.. Bang  a kick on logic, Bang  a kick on money which could’ve been better spent , Bang  a kick on your senses. Bang .the list is endless….

The movie enlightens  you about the shortest route to becoming a policeman. Shocked  oh btw, Salman Khan ( u guessed it) plays an undercover cop and is lovingly referred to a”headache” by Jacqeline. hpee   .Jacqeline tries to play a psychiatrist in this movie and in a bid to appear different from her  earlier movies wears a pair of black spectacles. Rolling Eyes  Shocked  .To applaud her efforts , Salman fondly calls her Dr Psycho  Rolling Eyes  Rolling Eyes 

Coming to the plot……There are four easy steps here to becoming  a cop

Step 1:Drive a tempo at breakneck speed
Step 2:Break some tables at the nearest coffee shop
Step 3:Rob billions of dollars on your black bicycle
Step 4:Bingo,you become Mr Supercop…
Nice and easy right? nty 

Statutory warnings to be followed while becoming supercop:

Warning 1: Put up all  your kindergarten report cards , nursery school running race certificates, junior school  recitation competition certificates(pretty much any worthless paper with your name on it) on your drawing room wall. hppy 

Reason: The way to your psycho lover’s heart is through your nursery report card. confused  (Bet u never heard of this one)

Warning 2:
Before breaking tables at your nearby coffee shop, bash up the innocent bystanders. Shocked  Shocked  That way u won’t be accused of partiality when u bash up the baddies

Warning 3:
Whenever you rob multi millionaires make sure u escape with your booty in a black laptop bag 

.Reason: Black laptop bags can hold billions of dollars in cash  and also double up as bullet proof vests for the back  cheers  cheers 

Warning 4:
After robbing the world's biggest billionaires make sure you either use black bicycles or conspicuously monstrous  red buses as your escape vehicle.

Reason: The policemen will be so flabbergasted by your stupidity that they will be caught unawares and you can safely escape. Clap  

Warning 5:
If you are faced with a battalion of armed policemen with explicit orders to shoot at sight, escape by running straight at  the policemen. Rolling Eyes  Rolling Eyes 

Reason:  They will be looking for you at a 20 m distance and will never expect this brilliant tactical move from you. Clap 

Tips for villains:
It doesn't matter how many people you kill,but do not, under any circumstances, hand over a Rs 100 note to any layman .It can and will be used in evidence against you and will eventually be the cause of of your death. Twisted Evil 

Tips for doctors:
Never check a patient’s heartbeat/pulse before declaring him dead.Only and only check for his breath. That way if a person is holding his breath for some reason, you can quickly do his autopsy and move onto the next guy.This helps in improving productivity 

Tips for psychiatrists:
Best treatment for retrograde amnesia patients is given on jumme ki raat  in the company of  100 dancers  

Tips for audience:
This hangover will not leave you for the next one week(at least).The popular song”Jumme ki raat,allah bachaye mujhe tere vaar se” is actually a warning in disguise. It means”Beware of the attack on this Friday,Only God can save you if you get caught”

To Salman Fans,No offense meant....This is a review of kick,not of Salman khan.....Plz take it in the right spirit.....

and to all readers..plz do leave ur comments  long hug  Bye  Bye 



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Re: Movie review:Kick

Post by sashashyam on 2014-08-02, 14:14

My poor dear Anita,

What  a  fate, and all this sacrifice on the altar of mother love! I used to have to watch a lot of Schwarzenegger movies when my Sasha was growing up, but they were classics  in comparison to what Kick seems to have been like. All Arnie did was to unleash PJs like the time when he shot an alligator and intoned "You are luggage!".  hpee 

And I read in the TOI yesterday that Kick is heading for Rs. 150 crores and counting. So you see, the film audience, whether in India or anywhere else, is pretty much the same, with an IQ of about 80. Just like the TV audience.

I  loved your Tips for Doctors the best.

By the way, why have  you been such a consistent no show on the Yudh forum?  I have PMed you for every one of my episode analyses till now, and I am going to cut you out from the next one. All of you complain loudly that Jodha Akbar or some other TV show is lousy, but when I try to get you to watch or analyse a superb offering like Yudh, where are you? I begin to think that  you deserve Jodha Akbar, and perhaps also Kick! Well, perhaps not quite the latter, but the complaints about the JA CVs now make me laugh.

Shyamala Aunty
PS: By way of a fair exchange, here is my review of the 2002 headache, Devdas, which Rediff carried for 4 days till they were reminded that they were the media partners for the film! I should add that a Dutch friend of mine, a senior policewoman, with whom I watched this opus of Bhansali's, loved Devdas. She said it was like grand opera, and perhaps she had a point! hpee 

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Rediff Movies
Obsession gone wrong
Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Devdas disappoints
Shyamala B Cowsik
I could not agree more with Anshuman Rawat. Devdas is a tale of obsession gone terribly wrong.
I did not like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam [Sanjay Leela Bhansali's previous film] and his urge to exhaust every colour on the palette in the loudest, brightest tones possible. But that may be excused --- it was not a classic revisited.
When one remembers the bitter delicacy of the Bimal Roy version [starring Dilip Kumar in 1955] --- the quietude, the aching sadness so starkly portrayed without being buried under all this tinsel --- is enough to make one weep in frustration.

Sadly, it is not the three principal actors in Devdas who fail. Shah Rukh Khan does a good job in a very difficult role. In any case, no one else could have tackled this role. His flashes of arrogant harshness are excellent, and he can carry off sensuous romantic scenes effortlessly.
Madhuri Dixit, while her megawatt charm of Dil To Pagal Hai has faded, does an equally good job. As for Aishwarya Rai, Bhansali has done a masterful job of camouflaging her weaknesses as an actress in practically every scene, and of photographing her to near perfection.
It is the director who lets the actors down in this overloud confection that strains the nerves, the eyes and the ears.
However, I disagree with Rawat on one point. He writes, "Agreed the sets are out of this world and the costumes mindblowing..."

The costumes may be excellent and painstakingly styled, but they lack the aristocratic, understated elegance of the dresses of the same class of Bengalis in, for example, Satyajit Ray's Ghare Bhaire. Ray was an acknowledged master at recreating the ambience of the feudal period in Bengal. Every woman in Devdas looks like an overdecorated Christmas tree, except perhaps for Paro in the beginning. After the interval, Paro catches up with her mother and Devdas' mother in this respect.
As for the sets, they scream of ostentation --- every room has at least one hundred clashing colours in it. Vijayendra Ghatge's (Paro's husband) house has the most ghastly blue walls with plaster mouldings ever seen in Hindi films. The floor inlays in Chandramukhi's kotha will give you a headache. And Paro's house, with more stained glass than the Chartres cathedral, also has walls and decorations that avoid coordination with the stained glass.
The sets of the three houses look like some sort of space city out of a Star Wars film, and no one can imagine anyone with taste and refinement that characterised that class in that age living in such three-dimensional cardboard cutouts. Santosh Sivan in Asoka, with a much wider canvas, had managed an infinitely superior look on a fraction of the stated budget of Devdas.
I might be out of sync with the general public, but if this is what we consider to be the acme of Mumbai filmmaking, God help the discerning audience. People have no business massacring classics like this; there ought to be a law against it.
ALSO READ: The Devdas Special


(c) 2002 India Limited. All Rights Reserved.

Last edited by sashashyam on 2014-08-02, 15:09; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Movie review:Kick

Post by trintring on 2014-08-02, 14:43

ROFL have no intention of watching the movie but loved ur review. I think this has become the norm for Salman Khan though... his mass fans do not care about storyline, direction... anything. All they want is Salman saying some Bhai dialogues while shirtless.

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Re: Movie review:Kick

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