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Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

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Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-27, 17:39

In one scene of Qubool Hai, a priest was dragged to perform a sham wedding between Akram and a drugged Zoya... I was feeling sorry for the priest... because they might have authority from all powerful, invisible deities but on earth they are not so powerful. Priests are as vulnerable to cajoling or threatening as anyone else!

When one of my relative ( muslim) fell in love with a catholic girl... Neither the Imam, nor the Priest made it easy for them. When the Imam said I can't marry you till she converts... He simply said... "I'll find someone who will". The priest immediately found a doctrine that says Kitabis ( people of the book ) can marry one another (without conversion). The Catholic priest said "I wont marry you till you promise to raise your kids Catholic" To this my relative said "how about, I wont have any kids, will you marry us then?" Both the Imam and Priest bowed down to the lovers... we got to celebrate 2 beautiful religious wedding for one couple king queen

Turns out we didn't need to do any of those.... the ONLY document that assures them "Rights as Husband & Wife " is the registration at the Marriage Bureau. The religious part is to make the parents happy... after all the parents are already worried about the future of that union. Are they living in sin? Maybe, if loving another person is sin :)

When my oldest friend from childhood married a Jewish guy... they decided not to go through the hassle of the religious marriage. They registered the marriage and then celebrated the cultural part of the ritual... She wanted Haldi & Mukh Dekha ( Bengali tradition of seeing each other in a mirror under a veil) and he wanted breaking a glass by feet and jump over broom. It was such a wonderful fusion. flower

My classmates had more trouble convincing their parents. She was muslim and he was hindu. So they only had a civil wedding, ie... registration at the marriage bureau and a Dhamaka party later. They have 2 amazing kids who are a must in any Puja or Eid function. They have God gifted singing voices and when they play Sitar it sounds like everyone in the room is being transported to heaven. :sunny:

More and more religious institution have become open to interfaith marriages. Because it's the sign of the times. As I mentioned before Registration has been the only valid marriage document accepted by court of law for over a hundred years now! I loved what one priest said ... Union (in whatever kind of marriage) is the only real LEAP of FAITH in this world. If you trust and accept that Leap of Faith then you accept God! Because after all it's FAITH that makes us believe that there is a loving God, who will surely forgive two people who love one another (irrespective of the religion).

this post is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings... it is just for discussion.



Last edited by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-27, 18:04; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by anurao66 on 2013-05-27, 17:52

Sabi,

Beautiful post, I am truly touched. What is religion to be is just faith in a single Almighty. I do not have any names for them. I do not have any objections for I am a Hindu who was brought up in a Catholic School and studied in a semi- Muslim College. I used to make round more to the church during school days (there was one on campus). I liked it more there then a temple. What I like about Hinduism is its broadmindedness and there are no set rules to follow. If you want you can pray from home as anywhere for according to the scriptures God is present everywhere.

There are many love marriages is my family. Most of them a success. As ;long as the Boy and Girl are happy why do we even bother about them. Values are a good part where the cople have to instill in their children and good values are the same all over.

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by sarra0 on 2013-05-27, 19:25

Sabi you were able to make the post yay, love transcends boundaries.. religion, faith, differences etc but unfortunately doesn't always win over families or society, but that is changing slowly depending on the country.

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by perfumeheaven on 2013-05-27, 19:55

I have my concerns, I believe in love but there are several phases of it and one of the factors that reinforces it is faith.

One of my Hindu friends got married to a Christian guy,they first got married with Hindu rituals etc and then later she adorned the white dress and got married in Christianity. They live at her parents home, so most of the practices and prayers are of the Hindu faith. He sometimes feel overwhelmed and pressured because he is outnumbered.So he goes through the motions but he does not have faith in it at all.He does all of these things to plz his wife. He does not attend church,anymore. She does not visit the temple. They have a lovely daughter,but their desires for her to perform well academically. There is no God fearing in their hearts :(

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by anurao66 on 2013-05-27, 20:22

Zainab,

Did he convert or what? He should have kept to his faith and she to hers? but the child has to brought up as a secular one so there will be no confusion in her mind?

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by perfumeheaven on 2013-05-27, 21:54

anurao66 wrote:Zainab,

Did he convert or what? He should have kept to his faith and she to hers? but the child has to brought up as a secular one so there will be no confusion in her mind?

Anu, I believe they didn't convert to the other's religion,they just abandon faith altogether to be on the same "page"

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by pollyanna on 2013-05-27, 22:22

What an awesome post Sabi....... Thumbsup

It had a feel good factor attached to it, have shared ur post with some of my friends too who have been there , done that :)

Thanks once again for sharing this gem with us :)




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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by jayalakshmi on 2013-05-28, 08:14

Sabriina....
first of alll, I am just sooo grateful to see that you started a much needed dicussion on this topic.....it could help me if in fact my dream of having "Mr.Khan" as my knight on the horse comes true!! ROFL

jokes apart, what makes this post of yours truly noteworthy are the many real life instances you anecdoted to show that "love truly conquers all"
Being a truly secular person, i do believe that God/Goddess, by whatever name or ritual you call Him/Her through, your prayers reach the same destination..... Be it zoya's "Allah Miya", Geet's "Babaji", another one's "Jesus Christ", ya Khushi's "Devi Maiya"...(these are all 4 Lions productions' heroines calling upon their God/Goddess)

I still remember how happy I felt reading this quote by Shri Ramakrishna as a child Dance , "Different people call on [God] by different names: some as Allah, some as God, and others as Krishna, Siva, and Brahman. It is like the water in a lake. Some drink it at one place and call it ‘jal’, others at another place and call it ‘pani’, and still others at a third place and call it ‘water’. The Hindus call it ‘jal’, the Christians ‘water’, and the Moslems ‘pani’. But it is one and the same thing.”

Yeah....the funny part regarding such marriages is that what really matters is the legal certificate, thankfully for which you dont have to 'convert' or 'prove' your love before you get the 'permission' to choose your lifepartner.... ROFL

And I am in so much love with Qubool Hain long hug .....one of the many reasons being it fills a void in the Television stories that existed because of underrepresentation ( in fact nil-represenatation is more apt) of muslim culture.....and I so much admire Islam and in such times when misunderstandings regarding the religion is so widespread across the world, our keeping 'silent shhh and pretending that we are all soo secular' won't do any good.....it is time we all talk openly about our faiths because if you truly have trust in your faith or religion (or even if your faith is atheism) you would be able to see the truth in others' faiths too!!! you would be able to respect others' religion as much as you respect yours!!! Thumbsup


arey!! is post se bhalaa kiskii feelings hurt hogiii??? yeh toh in fact chuppi todne mein aur zakhmon mein marham banne ka hii kaam karegi!!!!! long hug

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by perfumeheaven on 2013-05-28, 09:44

jayalakshmi wrote:Sabriina....
first of alll, I am just sooo grateful to see that you started a much needed dicussion on this topic.....it could help me if in fact my dream of having "Mr.Khan" as my knight on the horse comes true!! ROFL

jokes apart, what makes this post of yours truly noteworthy are the many real life instances you anecdoted to show that "love truly conquers all"
Being a truly secular person, i do believe that God/Goddess, by whatever name or ritual you call Him/Her through, your prayers reach the same destination..... Be it zoya's "Allah Miya", Geet's "Babaji", another one's "Jesus Christ", ya Khushi's "Devi Maiya"...(these are all 4 Lions productions' heroines calling upon their God/Goddess)

I still remember how happy I felt reading this quote by Shri Ramakrishna as a child Dance , "Different people call on [God] by different names: some as Allah, some as God, and others as Krishna, Siva, and Brahman. It is like the water in a lake. Some drink it at one place and call it ‘jal’, others at another place and call it ‘pani’, and still others at a third place and call it ‘water’. The Hindus call it ‘jal’, the Christians ‘water’, and the Moslems ‘pani’. But it is one and the same thing.”

Yeah....the funny part regarding such marriages is that what really matters is the legal certificate, thankfully for which you dont have to 'convert' or 'prove' your love before you get the 'permission' to choose your lifepartner.... ROFL

And I am in so much love with Qubool Hain long hug .....one of the many reasons being it fills a void in the Television stories that existed because of underrepresentation ( in fact nil-represenatation is more apt) of muslim culture.....and I so much admire Islam and in such times when misunderstandings regarding the religion is so widespread across the world, our keeping 'silent shhh and pretending that we are all soo secular' won't do any good.....it is time we all talk openly about our faiths because if you truly have trust in your faith or religion (or even if your faith is atheism) you would be able to see the truth in others' faiths too!!! you would be able to respect others' religion as much as you respect yours!!! Thumbsup


arey!! is post se bhalaa kiskii feelings hurt hogiii??? yeh toh in fact chuppi todne mein aur zakhmon mein marham banne ka hii kaam karegi!!!!! long hug


Really like this one Jaya :)

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by jayalakshmi on 2013-05-28, 10:22

thanks zainab!! glad u liked it!! :)

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 18:39

anurao66 wrote:Sabi,

Beautiful post, I am truly touched. What is religion to be is just faith in a single Almighty. I do not have any names for them. I do not have any objections for I am a Hindu who was brought up in a Catholic School and studied in a semi- Muslim College. I used to make round more to the church during school days (there was one on campus). I liked it more there then a temple. What I like about Hinduism is its broadmindedness and there are no set rules to follow. If you want you can pray from home as anywhere for according to the scriptures God is present everywhere.

There are many love marriages is my family. Most of them a success. As ;long as the Boy and Girl are happy why do we even bother about them. Values are a good part where the cople have to instill in their children and good values are the same all over.

Thank you Anu... Sadly religion is the biggest divider in mankind... Interfaith marriages are a real test of how secular a certain society is. ... It's not easy on the couples at all. I do not just see the rosy side of it... Surprisingly the couples bond is stronger as they feel they are fighting against tide constantly...

I am a mixed bag too... Faithful Muslim dad and an Agnostic mom. She doesn't believe in religion ( does believe in God / creator)... My mother's views are frowned upon a lot... So I can imagine how hard it must be for interfaith couples !

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 18:45

sarra0 wrote:Sabi you were able to make the post yay, love transcends boundaries.. religion, faith, differences etc but unfortunately doesn't always win over families or society, but that is changing slowly depending on the country.

So true.. For every success story there are atleast three that didnt succeed... Or the couple did t pursue the relationship cos they knew they wouldn't be able to withstand the barrage of criticism... It's a lot to undertake ...and society isn't changing fast enough!

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 19:02

perfumeheaven wrote:I have my concerns, I believe in love but there are several phases of it and one of the factors that reinforces it is faith.

One of my Hindu friends got married to a Christian guy,they first got married with Hindu rituals etc and then later she adorned the white dress and got married in Christianity. They live at her parents home, so most of the practices and prayers are of the Hindu faith. He sometimes feel overwhelmed and pressured because he is outnumbered.So he goes through the motions but he does not have faith in it at all.He does all of these things to plz his wife. He does not attend church,anymore. She does not visit the temple. They have a lovely daughter,but their desires for her to perform well academically. There is no God fearing in their hearts :(

Thank you for bringing out the ôther side of it... Love you for that Zainab! I completely understand why they feel like abandoning faith... So much pressure to conform to one or another.... The three couple I talked about didnt convert either... They practice their own respective religion. BUT a big difference is... They don't live with their parents... It's one thing to practice something for your spouse , quite another to do it for the her parents.

It's so much easier where I live because thee are so many options if you strongly feel the need to congregate ( for God). There is a modified version of Unitarinism where you just need to believe in one God and all the prophets of different religions are just that, prophets ( nothing more , not equivalent to god) Lots of kids of interfaith marriages go there.. Hoping to find a middle ground.

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 19:03

Double post...

Might as well add something to make it not a double post


I have a Christian friend married to an Athiest ... The dad doesn't want to teach any belief in God to the kids but the mom does! She sent them to Catholic Sunday school and convinced the dad " if they don't learn some form of religion , how will they know what to dislike ( and turn atheist ) when they grow up?" Dad agreed ...sneaky woman ...love her.. cheers


Last edited by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 19:53; edited 3 times in total

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by slmu on 2013-05-30, 19:03

:) beautiful indeed Sabi. My very first boss was a Hindu married to a Christian with 2 kids. But his wife had changed her name and the kids were being brought up Hindu. He said his wife had changed her name because people would comment otherwise. I remember thinking how sad it was that it bothered them so much. So though she hadn't actually converted as such, she did give up a lot. But I suppose love made it worth it. And people who do go against every sort of pressure to be together no doubt believe the same.

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by anurao66 on 2013-05-30, 19:07

Shesherkobita wrote:
anurao66 wrote:Sabi,

Beautiful post, I am truly touched. What is religion to be is just faith in a single Almighty. I do not have any names for them. I do not have any objections for I am a Hindu who was brought up in a Catholic School and studied in a semi- Muslim College. I used to make round more to the church during school days (there was one on campus). I liked it more there then a temple. What I like about Hinduism is its broadmindedness and there are no set rules to follow. If you want you can pray from home as anywhere for according to the scriptures God is present everywhere.

There are many love marriages is my family. Most of them a success. As ;long as the Boy and Girl are happy why do we even bother about them. Values are a good part where the cople have to instill in their children and good values are the same all over.

Thank you Anu... Sadly religion is the biggest divider in mankind... Interfaith marriages are a real test of how secular a certain society is. ... It's not easy on the couples at all. I do not just see the rosy side of it... Surprisingly the couples bond is stronger as they feel they are fighting against tide constantly...

I am a mixed bag too... Faithful Muslim dad and an Agnostic mom. She doesn't believe in religion ( does believe in God / creator)... My mother's views are frowned upon a lot... So I can imagine how hard it must be for interfaith couples !

Sabi,

To be frank as I said earlier I only believe in a Supreme Power and the good and Kind deeds we can do for others. If you are religious and keeping doing bad things then it has no meaning to me. For me our work and the way we treat people is most important. I am not saying not to pray. I am telling not to pray and do bad and crooked things side by side. I can understand what your mom is going through because some people look weirdly at me also. I am also against Idol worship.

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by anurao66 on 2013-05-30, 19:10

slmu wrote::) beautiful indeed Sabi. My very first boss was a Hindu married to a Christian with 2 kids. But his wife had changed her name and the kids were being brought up Hindu. He said his wife had changed her name because people would comment otherwise. I remember thinking how sad it was that it bothered them so much. So though she hadn't actually converted as such, she did give up a lot. But I suppose love made it worth it. And people who do go against every sort of pressure to be together no doubt believe the same.

Shanthi,

My cousin got married to a Christian. She never converted and they stayed away from our joint family. He had to celebrate all those festivals. But after sometime they just broke up and it was so sad for we were the ones who rooted for the wedding against all the others. Sometimes love is not enough and something extra is needed in this materialistic world.

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by slmu on 2013-05-30, 19:42

anurao66 wrote:
slmu wrote::) beautiful indeed Sabi. My very first boss was a Hindu married to a Christian with 2 kids. But his wife had changed her name and the kids were being brought up Hindu. He said his wife had changed her name because people would comment otherwise. I remember thinking how sad it was that it bothered them so much. So though she hadn't actually converted as such, she did give up a lot. But I suppose love made it worth it. And people who do go against every sort of pressure to be together no doubt believe the same.

Shanthi,

My cousin got married to a Christian. She never converted and they stayed away from our joint family. He had to celebrate all those festivals. But after sometime they just broke up and it was so sad for we were the ones who rooted for the wedding against all the others. Sometimes love is not enough and something extra is needed in this materialistic world.

Anu, that is sad. I have one too who got married to a Christian and was estranged from the family. Its taken years for reconciliation, but she is now part of our family again and is still happily married too. It works both ways I suppose.

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 20:01

anurao66 wrote:
slmu wrote::) beautiful indeed Sabi. My very first boss was a Hindu married to a Christian with 2 kids. But his wife had changed her name and the kids were being brought up Hindu. He said his wife had changed her name because people would comment otherwise. I remember thinking how sad it was that it bothered them so much. So though she hadn't actually converted as such, she did give up a lot. But I suppose love made it worth it. And people who do go against every sort of pressure to be together no doubt believe the same.

Shanthi,

My cousin got married to a Christian. She never converted and they stayed away from our joint family. He had to celebrate all those festivals. But after sometime they just broke up and it was so sad for we were the ones who rooted for the wedding against all the others. Sometimes love is not enough and something extra is needed in this materialistic world.

Thanks for sharing your stories... I have closely observed some of the interfaith marriages that broke up... Often I found, the couple had other issues ( drinking problem, not taking responsibility etc) that had already created a rift and then religious issues just compounded the problem. Yes love is not enough... No

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 20:28

anurao66 wrote:
Shesherkobita wrote:
anurao66 wrote:Sabi,

Beautiful post, I am truly touched. What is religion to be is just faith in a single Almighty. I do not have any names for them. I do not have any objections for I am a Hindu who was brought up in a Catholic School and studied in a semi- Muslim College. I used to make round more to the church during school days (there was one on campus). I liked it more there then a temple. What I like about Hinduism is its broadmindedness and there are no set rules to follow. If you want you can pray from home as anywhere for according to the scriptures God is present everywhere.

There are many love marriages is my family. Most of them a success. As ;long as the Boy and Girl are happy why do we even bother about them. Values are a good part where the cople have to instill in their children and good values are the same all over.

Thank you Anu... Sadly religion is the biggest divider in mankind... Interfaith marriages are a real test of how secular a certain society is. ... It's not easy on the couples at all. I do not just see the rosy side of it... Surprisingly the couples bond is stronger as they feel they are fighting against tide constantly...

I am a mixed bag too... Faithful Muslim dad and an Agnostic mom. She doesn't believe in religion ( does believe in God / creator)... My mother's views are frowned upon a lot... So I can imagine how hard it must be for interfaith couples !

Sabi,

To be frank as I said earlier I only believe in a Supreme Power and the good and Kind deeds we can do for others. If you are religious and keeping doing bad things then it has no meaning to me. For me our work and the way we treat people is most important. I am not saying not to pray. I am telling not to pray and do bad and crooked things side by side. I can understand what your mom is going through because some people look weirdly at me also. I am also against Idol worship.

Love you Anu.. long hug People often think religion is the only vessel to teach Moral Ethics... Turns out common sense and a law abiding society is more effective in teaching right from wrong... My mom is strong and can withstand criticism and she is always ready with a rebuttal... I am more of a quiet supporter of her beliefs ...

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-05-30, 22:00

pollyanna wrote:What an awesome post Sabi....... Thumbsup

It had a feel good factor attached to it, have shared ur post with some of my friends too who have been there , done that :)

Thanks once again for sharing this gem with us :)




Thank you so much Pallavi hug1
Hope your friends liked it... I feel honored.. I am surrounded by all kinds of mixed marriages and they work beautifully... Of course there is always some interference of other meddlesome people who really have no connection to the said couples!
One needs strong personality to sustain a marriage under scrutiny, luckily the ones who take the plunge of interfaith marriage, started with strong personality ! It's not for the weak hearted and thin skinned! Good luck to your friends Thumbsup

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Re: Kya Kya Qubool Karna padta Hai ....

Post by Shesherkobita on 2013-06-02, 02:50

jayalakshmi wrote:Sabriina....
first of alll, I am just sooo grateful to see that you started a much needed dicussion on this topic.....it could help me if in fact my dream of having "Mr.Khan" as my knight on the horse comes true!! ROFL

jokes apart, what makes this post of yours truly noteworthy are the many real life instances you anecdoted to show that "love truly conquers all"
Being a truly secular person, i do believe that God/Goddess, by whatever name or ritual you call Him/Her through, your prayers reach the same destination..... Be it zoya's "Allah Miya", Geet's "Babaji", another one's "Jesus Christ", ya Khushi's "Devi Maiya"...(these are all 4 Lions productions' heroines calling upon their God/Goddess)

I still remember how happy I felt reading this quote by Shri Ramakrishna as a child Dance , "Different people call on [God] by different names: some as Allah, some as God, and others as Krishna, Siva, and Brahman. It is like the water in a lake. Some drink it at one place and call it ‘jal’, others at another place and call it ‘pani’, and still others at a third place and call it ‘water’. The Hindus call it ‘jal’, the Christians ‘water’, and the Moslems ‘pani’. But it is one and the same thing.”

Yeah....the funny part regarding such marriages is that what really matters is the legal certificate, thankfully for which you dont have to 'convert' or 'prove' your love before you get the 'permission' to choose your lifepartner.... ROFL

And I am in so much love with Qubool Hain long hug .....one of the many reasons being it fills a void in the Television stories that existed because of underrepresentation ( in fact nil-represenatation is more apt) of muslim culture.....and I so much admire Islam and in such times when misunderstandings regarding the religion is so widespread across the world, our keeping 'silent shhh and pretending that we are all soo secular' won't do any good.....it is time we all talk openly about our faiths because if you truly have trust in your faith or religion (or even if your faith is atheism) you would be able to see the truth in others' faiths too!!! you would be able to respect others' religion as much as you respect yours!!! Thumbsup


arey!! is post se bhalaa kiskii feelings hurt hogiii??? yeh toh in fact chuppi todne mein aur zakhmon mein marham banne ka hii kaam karegi!!!!! long hug

Jaya... long hug you are so much wiser than your age!! I am always astounded by your analysis... God has good sense of humor, created all different religion, only to make us believe in the SAME thing Thumbsup Our faith gets tested the most during interfaith marriages & dealing with how to raise a mixed faith child. Faith in God does not teach us to believe that my religion is better than yours ( or vise versa) but in Tolerance of one another and accept that we are all the same, created by the same God.
I am also glad they chose Muslim household for QH, I am especially happy that they are not preachy about it... rather than Muslim as as religion, they are showing it as a culture ( a subculture under the canopy of multivariated Indian culture). I am happy with the Moderation that the PH has shown in the portrayal.

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